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Real Connection – Relationship Reality
“Life delights in life.” — William Blake
How do we connect with other people? Do we rely on conflict, suffering, manipulation, gossip or one-up-man ship? Do we create relationships that can be controlled safely and then call that “reality?”
Real connection requires two people, both wanting to be in the relationship, to approach each other as equals. A good relationship brings us happiness, growth and a satisfying feeling of closeness. We can be ourselves, without adjusting our beliefs or behavior to please the other person or to keep up the relationship. The moment we abandon our equality, we have a power struggle, not a relationship.
Previously, the only connections we made were between us and a hunger and an appetite that was never filled. Once we began our process of personal growth we began to enjoy the real connections with people; the true joy that comes with giving and receiving.
You Are In Integrity
“You are in integrity when the life you live is an authentic expression of who you are.” — Alan Cohen
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All Aboard the Gossip Express!
“I came across this poem today on my computer. It was written by my most recent ex-partner. It was written in the insanity of both a crystal meth high, and untreated mental health issues. To me, it serves as a touchstone for what is real, and what is not.”
The Gossip Express
This ride is an informational subject.
It may even strike that last nerve and single you out.
The only one nerve you apparently have,
Or so I’ve heard,
Through the vast endeavors
Of the “he said – she said” crowd.
Oh my god, you’re the talk of the town!
Like a novel one can’t put down.
On the best sellers list, it cuts like a knife.
I had no idea you’ve been infested with lice!
The kind that is resistant to that smelly shampoo.
So how did they get all the damn bugs off you?
Oh, it doesn’t matter.
It’s none of my business.
But before you go out that door,
I overheard that you’ve been arrested before!
Oh, I hope it wasn’t for murder,
Or kidnapping a kid from its mother.
But I would like to hear how you went to town,
Sucking and jerking;
Did they hold your head down?
I can see it all in my head;
I’m getting all hot and sweaty!
Oh how stupid of me to bring up jails!
I’m sure it’s depressing, I would bite off all my fake nails!
But a friend of mine, he and I were discussing:
How you need to change;
And we think you should start today.
Maybe go incognito or you know, something like that.
Along those lines – not the kind you snort through a straw
That kind pretends to help you along.
You also need to change your hood,
Cuz they’re tired of you chopping wood.
This is what that bitch said about you –
You know that one chick,
The one I think has a prick.
She is usually all over you like flies,
Attracted to a pile of…
YOO-HOO!
Hey! Come over here,
And say hello!
I hope you weren’t getting ready to go!
Oh god it’s been so long almost as long
As that dude’s shlong!
I am so sure, you wanna bet?
Hey hasn’t he hooked up with you yet?
Like last week, or wait!
It wasn’t you!
He was talking about a way hotter dude.
Oh rumor has it you got clap.
Tell me something, does it turn on a lamp?
OK, I need to shut my mouth!
It’s not funny to you now.
But everybody done told anybody,
Who talked to somebody in this town.
And let me ask you one more thing,
You can say butt out or get away from me.
If I could , just ask a personal thing.
I was told by a friend of a friend,
Who was once removed physically
From the house next door,
Who had hooked up with some
Really loose whore.
I’m not quite sure where the thing began.
But this dude I think his name is Stan,
Or Dan,
Or could be like Bran…
Don’t you just hate that when you mind starts slowing down?
Then names for me are inevitably or uninviting
No
God you know what I am trying to say.
Hey wait why are you walking away?
Oh my god he is so rude!
I asked him question,
To see if he would tell the truth.
Nasty bitch anyway so I’ve heard
Don’t you know he fucks birds?
OK change the subject.
Poof! It’s done!
OK girl I am sorry, but I got to run!
See you later!
Call me sometime!
I got a story about your man’s behind.
Oh, you gotta know!
About that abnormal growth.
Just tell me, that he doesn’t say:
“Come pop my zits on my ass today!”
I bet you do it, since he’s your baby!
Wash your hands in bleach I say.
Enough about that delay.
OK, I don’t want to be rude.
For realzz tho’ I gotta jet!
Catch you next time
On the Gossip Express……
Copyright Christopher D Eshenbaugh 2007
All Rights Reserved
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- You Always Hurt the One’s You Love |http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201010/you-always-hurt-the-one-you-love
I Am Being Looked After
I Will Continue to Fulfill My Commitments to Peace and Grace
“Can such thing be, and overcome us like a summer’s cloud, without our special wonder?” — William Shakespeare
To overcome my feeling of being lost, alone and afraid; overwhelmed by the challenges I now face, I am going through my “tool belt” of coping mechanisms that I have added along life’s way. To reclaim my ability to take part again in life, I have discovered that I must reclaim the gift of commitment. I have many personal commitments: living life fully and authentically, my growing spirituality, working on my special relationships with my closest friends and sharing my experiences of personal discovery and growth through my writing. I have come to realize that it is a moment of wonder when we have something in our lives that requires the best we have to give.
During times of doubt or struggle, I find myself questioning what I’ve gotten myself into. But an activity or a person to which we give ourselves wholly and freely is evidence of a force greater than ourselves at work in our life. I believe my commitments are something the Universe has asked me to do and I know absolutely and without a doubt that the Universe will help me take care of meeting all of them.
Money, support and the energy and enthusiasm needed will come as well and at the perfect time. Although it may seem that things may not be going my way, I can trust that the Universe is giving to me all that I need so that my lessons can be learned and tasks can be accomplished. This knowledge and belief helps to keep my spirits up. Each day I have before me a wonderful opportunity to fulfill my commitments in peace and grace. I am being looked after.
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For Every Person and Unhealed Relationship
“For every person in your past with whom you feel unhealed but unable to go back and resolve, there is someone standing before you offering you the opportunity to practice the healing you believe you missed.” — Alan Cohen
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How to Get to Forgiveness
One is, as One is.
“One is as one is, and the love that can’t encompass both is a poor sort of love.” — Marya Mannes
I have struggled to find the way to forgive myself and others. Forgiving isn’t easy. Writing this blog isn’t easy. I am carrying so much resentment and hurt around with me. In fact, when I’ve been deeply hurt or victimized by someone else, I may feel I can’t forgive. Yet, for my peace of mind and to let go, I may finally try. It’s been suggested by a close friend that forgiveness is easier under certain conditions: a positive connection with the person we want to forgive, a deep relationship with the Universe, and lots of time.
Forgiveness is often preceded by grieving fully; we must first heal from the harm that was done to us. Through the honesty, power and wisdom gained through personal growth we are gently led through the process of forgiving ourselves and others. Many of us have also experienced the Universe’s unconditional forgiveness which gives us a model. I acknowledge my responsibility for my actions, I let go of resentment, I grieve, and, finally, I forgive.
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Never Give Up
“Wish you never give up.”
When things go wrong as they sometimes will, when the road you’re trudging seems all uphill.
When the funds are low and the debts are high, and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit, rest if you must but “don’t you quit.”
Life is queer with its twists and turns, as every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about, and would have won had he just stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
You never know how close you are, it may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit, it’s when things seem tough that you must not quit.
— Author Unknown
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See That Storm Just Ahead? Confronting Issues
“Maybe you can’t see the storm that lies just ahead. But I can. Believe me, it’s there.”
Confronting issues openly and honestly can be difficult. Many, like me are afraid of the reaction they’ll get from the person they are confronting. With that fear firmly embedded in one’s psyche, looking the other way and acting like the problem isn’t there becomes the easy way out. Or so it seems. Looking the other way really doesn’t make matters easier at all. In fact, it makes them worse. Problems often just don’t go away without some action.
I haven’t faced some very big issues and challenges that have been in my life for too long now. But I see clearly that I can’t let these problems linger. In my situation the problems have grown and the result is more and more hurt to me. I feel fear of the reaction I expect to receive. My fears I know after giving it long thought are grounded in reality and not based on my imagination. To get myself beyond this fear, I will have to have the necessary support around me to protect me. With my support in place I will face my problems. I must remember that storms don’t last forever. Eventually the sun does shine again, and life was nourished by the rains. I will come out of this a better person.
Get Rid of Fear and Anxiety – Be O.K. with YOU
“Perhaps the most important thing we can undertake toward the reduction of fear is to make it easier for people to accept themselves; to like themselves.” — Bonaro Overstreet
I was going about my life when suddenly; I became aware that I was feeling anxious, uncomfortable and insecure. But what I feel underneath is afraid. Even when we’re not conscious of it, fear can drain our concentration, deplete our confidence and manifest behaviors that aren’t typical of us.
Everyone feels afraid; it’s a part, even an affirmation of being human. Fear can be a healthy, energizing response in some situations – such as when we take a risk or strike out in a new direction.
When we’re fearful, it can be reassuring to remember that, in the end, success or failure isn’t what’s important. If, in any situation, we do the best we can and learn from our experiences, then we’ve nothing to fear. Still, when we’re feeling fear, it’s important to know that the people who love us will go on loving us. Sometimes, we may just need to hear someone say, “I know you can do it; I have faith in you.” Then, fearful or not, we move forward, our fear balanced by faith and our willingness to try.
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Mark's Weblog 
Opinions, Feedback, Comments and Judgments
Dec 28
Posted by Mark Schmitz
“Treat a work of art like a prince; let it speak to you first.” — Arthur Schopenhauer
There have been many times when I felt that I always had to have and offer an opinion about everything right away. After a movie or a concert, such as, I often wanted to step right in with my comments and judgments. I would just “shoot from the hip”, without thinking or being attentive to my feelings, or the feelings of others.
This can be a way of warding off the experience, enclosing it within certain words. I’m quite certain that all of us have feared that we might be caught off guard and compelled to change or expand our own ideas. We feared being too vulnerable!
Images, sounds, poems, and plays can cause us to open ourselves to the unfamiliar and the new, and if we are quiet and attentive, we can come to fresh insights and understandings. And so it is too, with people. If we are patient and willing to listen, we will always be learning and growing through contact with others.
The beauty and joy of life dwell within differences. I am learning to be open and attentive to what has not been part of my existence up to now, so that it may come to color and enhance my life.
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Posted in Change, Conflict, Fear, Honesty, Humanity, Intimacy, Life, Love, New Age, Opinions, Perfection, Personal Growth, Relationships, Spirituality, Truth
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Tags: Arthur Schopenhauer, Change, Comments, Conflict, Creativity and Music, Dislikes, Emotion, Fear, feedback, Honesty, Humanity, Ideas, Intimacy, Judgments, Life, Listenting, Love, Music, New Age, Opinions, Original, Perfection, Personal Growth, Plays, Poems, Relationships, Sounds, Spirituality, Truth