Blog Archives

I Am Being Looked After

 

I Will Continue to Fulfill My Commitments to Peace and Grace

 

“Can such thing be, and overcome us like a summer’s cloud, without our special wonder?” — William Shakespeare

 

To overcome my feeling of being lost, alone and afraid; overwhelmed by the challenges I now face, I am going through my “tool belt” of coping mechanisms that I have added along life’s way.  To reclaim my ability to take part again in life, I have discovered that I must reclaim the gift of commitment.  I have many personal commitments: living life fully and authentically, my growing spirituality, working on my special relationships with my closest friends and sharing my experiences of personal discovery and growth through my writing.  I have come to realize that it is a moment of wonder when we have something in our lives that requires the best we have to give.

During times of doubt or struggle, I find myself questioning what I’ve gotten myself into. But an activity or a person to which we give ourselves wholly and freely is evidence of a force greater than ourselves at work in our life.  I believe my commitments are something the Universe has asked me to do and I know absolutely and without a doubt that the Universe will help me take care of meeting all of them.

Money, support and the energy and enthusiasm needed will come as well and at the perfect time.  Although it may seem that things may not be going my way, I can trust that the Universe is giving to me all that I need so that my lessons can be learned and tasks can be accomplished.  This knowledge and belief helps to keep my spirits up.  Each day I have before me a wonderful opportunity to fulfill my commitments in peace and grace.  I am being looked after.


 

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On Friendship

 

 

Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another” – Eustace Budgell

A friend of mine recently passed on to me one of his most important beliefs about relationships:

“The person with the greater need comes first. This means there are times I will consciously choose to set aside my own needs, feelings, or concerns because someone else’s need is greater. If I visit a friend in the hospital, it isn’t the time to go on and on about how I’ve accepted a new job and am moving across the country”.

I know that the more I progress through my own personal growth work, the more I’ll develop relationships to turn to for support. And, of course, I have the best resource of all – myself. My ability to guide, support and nurture myself increases without my being aware of it.

The self-centeredness and selfishness I possessed as the “old Mark”, before beginning work on myself begins to disappear. I don’t always have to vie for attention or have my way. I can decide to put someone else first, not out of martyrdom, but out of respect and love.

When in doubt, I will remember that the one with the greater need comes first!


Getting Away From it All

“We yield, and we realize God has wrought something in us, and that the wings of our souls have learned to beat the upper air.” — Anonymous

Where is your “resting place”, that free space for nurturing and peace? As a child in kindergarten, like all of my classmates, I had a “resting mat.” Each day, for a period of forty-five minutes or so, my classmates and I took a little nap.

As an adult, my resting place is inside myself: a place where I live quietly, engaged in inarticulate creation.  I go to that silent space because I am safe there.  I find what I need to be replenished until I am ready to go into the world again.

For some, their resting places are primarily outside of themselves: the earth, the sea, the desert or the mountains.  It is called “getting away from it all,” but it’s really going to something needed as much as air and food.

We all will find a resting place in anything to which our heart calls us: music, writing in a journal, books on personal growth or spirituality or simply in solitude.  We all need sanctuary; time to be recreated; time to become reconnected to who we truly are.

Try Looking at Things in New and Different Ways

“If you look at life one way, there is always cause for alarm.”  –Elizabeth Bowen

A narrow view, especially one that is attached to an obsession, is going to produce a very partial perspective on life.  Many of us may have come to believe that everyone is always fantasizing, acting out, getting involved in some kind of sexual escapade and being miserable.  That’s the way the world is, but from just one point of view.  And it’s scary!

I’m learning how to reach out to others.  As I do, I see things differently, as if I put a different lens on my camera.  I get a new perspective.  I become an involved, caring, and committed person.  I didn’t know before how life could be so rich and give so much.  Now I see others as well as myself.

What made the difference?  Sanity.  When I stopped seeing others only from my crazy, addicted point of view, I returned to sobriety and love and sane behavior.  I am learning to look at things in new ways and to ask for help along the way.

Look Fear Right in its Face!

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  You are able to say to yourself, “I lived through this horror.  I can take the next thing that comes along.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

One of the things I know I have gained through recovery and personal growth is that I have been given courage in the face of life’s darker realities. Now, I’m even more enthusiastic to offer my help to others in the face of addiction, depression, mental illness, physical illness and any other of life’s calamities. I know I can help, because I can say, “I’ve been there.” I’ve gone through so much, and I’ve come out of it on the other side. I understand the fear.

What a tremendous gift this can all be to others, given by those of us who understand the fear. Especially, for those facing their recovery issues after us. Our presence, our support, our unconditional love, and our non judgmental attitude are often what another suffering person needs. Our experiences as addicts, individuals challenged with mental illness – you name it – whatever other fear based dilemma we have faced, have given us an understanding and wisdom.

We have the perspective to be practical and realistic when necessary. We have the empathy to be compassionate. We have the strength and clarity to keep our boundaries in the face of another’s challenges and fears. My courage I am feeling at this moment is my personal growth and recovery in action. For that, may we all be grateful!