What I Want is to be Myself Again


mark blue

I’m learning that when we lose faith in our feelings, we lose faith in ourselves and become outer-directed. That is, we look to the world to tell us how to feel and what to do.  We seek approval and love from others so we can prove to ourselves that we are worthy.  Paradoxically, to be outer-directed is to be self-absorbed. How can this be?  We feel so unsure of who we are , that we cannot let go, be spontaneous or real.We can reclaim ourselves by becoming inner-directed.  This means looking within ourselves for the direction we need.  When we’re just beginning to learn to trust our feelings, this can seem to be truly agonizing.  It means trusting the reality of our needs and our right to express them.  Only then can we find the faith in ourselves and in life, that we have lacked.

Becoming inner-directed takes self-acceptance and self-love.  It also takes time. Until then, there will be no real peace because it is the only way to find ourselves.

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About Mark Schmitz

Living in Phoenix, AZ since 1995, originally from Brown Deer, Wisconsin. I'm a Gemini born on May 26, 1961. Single, GWM who is HIV and healthy. Spiritually diverse, I'm just trying to stay on the right path to learn all that I came here to learn. That's what my blogs are about - and total honesty.

Posted on April 29, 2011, in Addiction, Life, Mental Health, Opinions, Personal Growth, Relationships, Self Discovery, Self-improvement, Spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. this is exactly what i feel ..

    iv been trying to be me[again] for years, and i start to feel desperate .
    who am i? what i should do? or mebbe what exactly God wants me to do in this earth?

    i could answer and tell it bravely to anyone who ask me few years ago
    but now… * sigh*

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