“Life delights in life.” — William Blake
How do we connect with other people? Do we rely on conflict, suffering, manipulation, gossip or one-up-man ship? Do we create relationships that can be controlled safely and then call that “reality?”
Real connection requires two people, both wanting to be in the relationship, to approach each other as equals. A good relationship brings us happiness, growth and a satisfying feeling of closeness. We can be ourselves, without adjusting our beliefs or behavior to please the other person or to keep up the relationship. The moment we abandon our equality, we have a power struggle, not a relationship.
Previously, the only connections we made were between us and a hunger and an appetite that was never filled. Once we began our process of personal growth we began to enjoy the real connections with people; the true joy that comes with giving and receiving.
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself” –Herman Hesse
Hatred, just like anger, has the potential to corrode and eats away at me, and I often end up being the loser. My life has been wrecked by the resentments and hostilities I have felt for others.
Why? Because hatred paralyzes me and prevents me from moving forward. I find myself becoming fixed in ugly feuds and rivalries and then I’m unable to go on with a happier life. I am in that dark place today and I am trying to take the necessary time I need to look within myself. As I become more clear-sighted about my hatreds I find that they are often directed at parts of me that I dislike, or even fear. For example, I may hate a certain noise because I was afraid of a similar noise when I was a child; I may detest others’ sexual preferences because I fear it may secretly be my own.
Today, I despise someone’s manipulation, dishonesty and defensiveness about their previously communicated commitments and the fabricated lies and distortions they have created, all in trying to discredit me and what I know to be the truth.
While looking at this hatred I feel toward this person and being honest with myself, I am beginning to get to the root of my anger and hatred. As I continue this process of looking within I know I will be able to deal with my feelings, and let them be carried away by the winds of time. To help me until I have accomplished this, I have created an affirmation which goes, “I realize that my anger and hatred is often directed at myself. Now I am ready to work to get free of the hatred that cripples me.”