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You Are In Integrity
Posted by Mark Schmitz
“You are in integrity when the life you live is an authentic expression of who you are.” — Alan Cohen
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Posted in 12 Step Program, About Me, Addiction, Adversity, Afraid, AIDS, Arizona, Art, Artistic, Astrological Sign, Astrological Sign Gemini, Astrological Sign Leo, Astrological Sign Taurus, Astrology, Authenticity, Awareness, Beta level, Bi Polar, Birthday, Blogging, Boundaries, brain, bring on the rain, butterfly, California emissions, Care of our Earth, Challenge, Change, Changling, Chemical Dependency, Childhood, Childhood Memories, Chinese Astrology, Christian, christianity, community, Conflict, Confrontation, connection, Consciousness, Controversy, coupling, Courage, Courage, course of right action, Creativity, Creator, Death and Dying, deceit, Decision, Decision Making, Decision Making Tool, Defects, Delusion, Depression, Depression, Dificulty, Digital Photography, Dishonest, Dispute, Drug Addiction, Dysfunction, Economic Choices, Emission Standards, End of Relationship, Enthusiasm, Environment, Extinct, Faith, Family, Fear, feelings, Fiction, Food, forgiveness, Friends, Friendship, Friendships, Game playing, Gay, Gay Domestic Violence, Gay Relationship, Gay, Lesbian Bi-sexual, Transgendered, Queer [GLBTQ], Gemini, Gemini compatability, George Bush, god, God the Universe and Our Higher Power as We Know it, Gossip, Gratitude, Grocery Products, Grocery Stores, Happiness, Hate, Healing, Health, Help, HIV, Holidays, Homelessness, Homosexual, Honesty, Hope, How to overcome Depression, Humanity, Humiliation, Hurt emotions, Imbolc, Inner Self, inspiration, Integrity, Intimacy, Jose Silva, Leo, Leo compatability, Leo Personality traits, Life, Life's Lessons, Loneliness, Love, Love Letters, Lying, Lyrics, meditation, Mental Health, Mind Control, Music, Narcissism, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Natural Resources, nature, Negative, New Age, Opinions, Passion, Past Transgressions, People in your life, Perfection, Personal Growth, Personality, Pets, Phoenix, Photo Edit, photography, Poetry, Positive Attitude, Positive Thinking, Prayer, Procrastination, Purpose of Life, Recovery, Relationships, Resentment, Seasons, Self concept, Self Discovery, Self Will, Self-forgiveness, Self-improvement, Sex Addiction, Sexuality, Shame, Short Story, Shortcomings, Silva, Silva International, Silva Method, sobriety, Solitude, Song Lyrics, Spirituality, St. Francis of Assisi, Struggle, Suffering, Suicide, Suicide Prevention, Taurus Compatability, Taurus Personality traits, Tough Times, Trust Personal Growth, Truth, Unitarian Universalism, Unitarian Universalist, Valentine's Day, Video Clip, Viking Runes, Vindictive, Violence, Vortex energy, Weakness, Wearing of masks, Wicca, Wizard of Oz, Your Star, Zodiac
Tags: 12 Step Program, About Me, Addiction, Adele, Adversity, Afraid, AIDS, Alan Cohen, Albus Dumbledore, Amy Winehouse, Arizona, Art, Artistic, Astrological Sign, Astrological Sign Gemini, Astrological Sign Leo, Astrological Sign Taurus, Astrology, Authenticity, Awareness, Beta level, Bi Polar, Birthday, Blogging, Boundaries, brain, bring on the rain, butterfly, California emissions, Care of our Earth, Challenge, Change, Changling, Chemical Dependency, Childhood, Childhood Memories, Chinese Astrology, Christian, christianity, community, Conflict, confrontation, connection, Consciousness, Controversy, coupling, Courage, course of right action, Creativity, Creator, Death and Dying, deceit, Decision, Decision Making, Decision Making Tool, Defects, Delusion, Depression, Dificulty, Digital Photography, Dishonest, Dispute, Drug Addiction, Dysfunction, Economic Choices, Emission Standards, End of Relationship, Enthusiasm, Environment, Extinct, Faith, Family, Fear, feelings, Fiction, Food, Forgiveness, Friends, Friendship, Friendships, Game playing, Gay, Gay Domestic Violence, Gay Relationship, Gemini, Gemini compatability, George Bush, god, God the Universe and Our Higher Power as We Know it, Gossip, Gratitude, Grocery Products, Grocery Stores, happiness, Hate, Healing, Health, Help, HIV, Holidays, homelessness, Homosexual, Honesty, Hope, How to overcome Depression, Humanity, humiliation, Hurt emotions, Imbolc, Inner Self, inspiration, Integrity, Intimacy, J. K. Rowling, Jose Silva, Leo, Leo compatability, Leo Personality traits, Lesbian Bi-sexual, Life, Life's Lessons, Loneliness, Love, Love Letters, Lying, Lyrics, meditation, Mental Health, Mind, Mind Control, Music, Narcissism, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Natural Resources, nature, Negative, New Age, Opinions, Passion, Past Transgressions, People in your life, Perfection, Personal Growth, Personality, Pets, Phoenix, Photo Edit, photography, Poetry, Pornography, Positive attitude, Positive Thinking, Prayer, procrastination, Purpose of Life, Queer [GLBTQ], R. Kelly, Recovery, Relationships, Religion and Spirituality, Resentment, Seasons, Self concept, Self Discovery, Self Will, Self-forgiveness, Self-improvement, Sex Addiction, Sexuality, Shame, Short Story, Shortcomings, Silva, Silva International, Silva Method, sobriety, Solitude, Song Lyrics, Spirituality, St. Francis of Assisi, Struggle, Suffering, Suicide, Suicide Prevention, Taurus Compatability, Taurus Personality traits, The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore, Thought, Tough Times, Transgendered, Trust, Truth, Unitarian Universalism, Unitarian Universalist, United States, Valentine's Day, Video Clip, Viking Runes, Vindictive, Violence, Vortex energy, Weakness, Wearing of masks, Wicca, Wizard of Oz, Your Star, Zodiac
Dispute Leads to Anger and Vindictiveness
Posted by Mark Schmitz
“Only that action is just which does not harm either party to a dispute.” — Gandhi
Most of the disputes I have occur when I realize I have been lied to. I hate being lied to. I’m not stupid. I want to know that I’m dealing with people in “reality” rather than a fictitious world made up through lies. I find myself occasionally embroiled in a bitter dispute and feel determined at all costs to back a person into a corner to get them to admit to their lie, or to impose my solution to the dispute, even though I know it may cause the other person harm. I have come to know that I don’t really want a solution at all; I want revenge.
The wish to harm others may be derived from feeling that I have been hurt, perhaps as a child. I may be recalling feelings of being neglected, misunderstood, or even abused and assaulted. So to me, in my mind, the world owes me something and I intend to collect. I may even bear grudges and resentments against successful people, not because they have done me wrong, but merely because they are – successful.
I need to let my shame and sorrow out into the clear light of day. By opening myself up to others, I will surely find that together we can defuse my anger and want to hurt others. I can stand on equal footing with others and have no more need for resentment and rage.
I know that I am gradually getting rid of my secret shame that causes me to act out of anger and vindictiveness.
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Posted in Adversity, Challenge, Controversy, Dispute, End of Relationship, Family, Friends, Friendship, Friendships, Hate, Honesty, Hope, Hurt emotions, Life, Life's Lessons, Lying, Past Transgressions, Personal Growth, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Self-improvement, Shortcomings, Truth, Vindictive
Tags: Anger, Anger Management, Challenge, Chilhood Memories, Conflict, Controversy, Dishonest, Dispute, Fear, feelings, Feelings of being misunderstood, Feelings of being neglected, Feelings of having been abused, Feelings of having been assaulted, Forgiveness, Friends, Friendship, Gandhi, grudges, Hate, Honesty, Hope, Lies, Life, Life's Lessons, Lying, Misdirected Anger, Personal Growth, Rage, Relationships, Resentment, Resentments, revenge, Shame, Shortcomings, sorrow, Truth, Vindictive
Judgment Day
Posted by Mark Schmitz
“I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment, it takes place every day.” — Albert Camus
It is easy to hope that at some time in the future we may redeem ourselves by some great act of heroism or undergo a dramatic conversion of sorts. But in the meantime, all too often, it’s business as usual. Too easily we can become used to our unhealthy behaviors, denying that our acting-out has harmed anyone… except ourselves and those we love and who love and trust us. Deep down we knew we were judging ourselves and being judged. Now, each day, we can assess our actions and evaluate our behavior. In this way, we learn how our behavior has affected every part of our lives and our relationships.
It is time to change. The longer we wait, the more ingrained are our habits and ways of perceiving and deceiving. If we live a lie, we will be judged accordingly, by ourselves and those close to us. We can change and grow and move ahead into the openness and fullness of each new day.
Posted in 12 Step Program, Addiction, Chemical Dependency, Drug Addiction, Life, Mental Health, Personal Growth, Purpose of Life, Recovery, Relationships, Self-forgiveness, Self-improvement, Spirituality
Tags: Dishonest, Judged, Judgement, Judging, Life, Personal Growth, Recovery, Time to change, Tools for personal growth, Unhealthy Behavior