“God delays, but doesn’t forget.” — Spanish Proverb
Each month, I find it more difficult to meet my expenses until the end of the month, on my fixed income. As each month’s end grows closer and I find myself without enough funds for essentials like food and medications, I find myself sinking into a dark hole of depression and anxiety. I worry that I’ll become severely ill, as happened last year, spending months in the hospital. In today’s still lingering economic downturn, it’s frustrating for anyone who has lost a job or met financial setbacks. Those of us facing financial difficulty suddenly feel curtailed, with the rhythm of our lives changed in a way we never anticipated. But the Universe slows us down for a reason.
There can be gifts in adversity. They can give us some much-needed time alone, time to think. Being alone gives us the chance to find ourselves in a new way. We may be surprised to find some previously unknown inner resources. A period of waiting through adversity can also turn us to our Higher Power, God, or the Universe when the solace we need is beyond the capacity of people to give.
It’s challenging to be able to do nothing when the world tells us that we must take action. When action isn’t possible, accepting the circumstances of our lives enables us to experience the value of being, and not doing.
- Prayer and the Spiritual Journey (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Suicidal Thoughts: Strength to Continue and Endure (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Feeling is the Inner Life (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
“In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and given strength to continue and endure.” — Heart Warrior Chosa
In the depths of our misery, some of us hated ourselves so much that we didn’t believe we deserved to live. Some of us had this idea planted in our minds when we were children. Some of us had lives that didn’t seem worth living. Some of us were suffering so much that we were willing to do anything to rid of what we thought of as our miserable life. When things are so difficult in life and it seems there is no other solution to our problems, some of us turn to thoughts of suicide.
How do we go on when we can’t any longer? Very gently. We use everything we can to help us stay alive; the thought of a beloved child, a special friendship, time-out from our normal life, or turning ourselves over to our spiritual source. When we feel suicidal, we may not care about anything; we feel alienated and isolated. But we’re not. To even keep breathing connects us to life; breathe in and out, slowly. If we open ourselves to the fullness of the moment, from this most basic act our connections expand infinitely. We’ve only to hang on, one minute at a time, and reasons to hope again will come. Life is precious because it was given to us by our Higher Power who loves us unconditionally.