Category Archives: About Me
Weakness and fear make me defensive and dogmatic (adhering strictly to something). I often find myself becoming strident and aggressive without any apparent reason. I insult my acquaintances, hurt my friends, and even frighten the neighbor’s children. In that moment, I may feel I am being strong and assertive, and yet the effects are just the opposite of what I had intended. I am hurting, and so I lash out and wound others.
What am I hiding? Why am I feeling threatened, vulnerable and weak? I usually strike out when hiding my needs and fears. I think that, if I attack, maybe I won’t need to let anyone in. I start to make-up in my mind that if I let people in, they won’t love me; I feel unworthy and shameful.
I have come to find out however, that it is the strong that are tolerant and charitable and forgiving. As I continue to grow in confidence and strength, I will find that I too am able to be flexible, patient and open with others. I am striving to be strong, open, tolerant and loving.
- Our deepest fear (bahiehk.com)
- Learning to Overcome Fear (madihaakhtar.wordpress.com)
- Your world is created in your mind, create a great world and you will live happy in it. (runimal800.wordpress.com)
“There is luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel no one else has a right to blame us.” — Oscar Wilde
Just as we don’t have the right to judge someone else, we don’t have the right to judge ourselves. Our unhealthy script in the past was that when we did something we felt ashamed of, we judged ourselves guilty. All too often, we then punished ourselves. Was that behavior an expression of our shame and sadness because of our defects? Punishing ourselves won’t stop our unhealthy behaviors; loving ourselves will.
We are grateful that our growth in our emotional health has taught us the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt lets us feel remorse and sadness when our actions violate our values. Guilt helps us know when we’ve acted badly; shame tells us we are bad. Guilt gives us a way back to ourselves through making amends; shame leaves us hopeless. To give in to shame and self-hatred only harms us and intensifies the power of our unhealthy behaviors. There is a better way, and that’s to learn to love us.
- Guilt’s end. (charioteers.org)
- Pain and Suffering (psychologytoday.com)
- Guilt Be Gone! (companionsoflyme.wordpress.com)
“I quit smoking.” — Me
I’ve done it!
I’ve considered myself to be a smoker since the age of twelve. My cousin Randy and I would sneak cigarettes from our parents and smoke them as we walked to school each morning. Back then, cigarettes cost no more that seventy-five cents from the vending machine at the local bowling alley.
By the time I was fourteen years-old, my parents had grown tired of trying to stop me from smoking and allowed me to smoke openly. My mother would even buy cigarettes for me when she went to the grocery store. I smoked and smoked and smoked.
There have been occasions in my life when I have been able to quit; usually because of illness of some sort (usually upper respiratory since I am asthmatic) or because of a new commitment to overall health. It has been nearly 2 months since my last cigarette. This time my reasons do include health concerns, mortality and cost. The price one pays for cigarettes now, with all of the various taxes, has become prohibitive.
My home smells better, my senses already seem more aware to smell and taste. Soon, I know I will also be able to claim better health and longer life.
According to astrology, people who are born between the dates, 20th April and 21st May, are Taurus, while those who are born between May 21st and June 21 are Gemini.
On the positive side, people born under the sign of Taurus are very reliable people, who believe in fulfilling their duties, both professionally and personally. Taurus people are the “home loving” kind, who like to take care of their families and loved ones. Taurus people also love the material things in life. They want to live in the best of houses with the best of interiors and the most beautiful man or woman as their partner.
Highly determined and stubborn, people born under the sign of Taurus never ever change their mind or opinions, about anything. They can also be very rigid and argue for hours together, just to prove their point. A fiery temperament is something that most Taurus people hide well under their cool exteriors. If ever provoked, the person on the receiving end will certainly suffer.
Those born under the sign of Gemini are very intelligent and bright, making them the center of attraction in any party or group. They are also born flirts, and with their natural talent for communication, and can sweep any person off their feet. Gemini’s are also very independent and do not like people telling them what to do or not to do in life. Gemini’s are great at multi tasking and can work equally well at a number of projects simultaneously.
Despite these positive Gemini traits, Gemini’s do have a few drawbacks. Gemini can be very reckless at times, making other people believe that they cannot be trusted. They are also often thought to be fickle minded, as they seldom finish the jobs that they take upon themselves. Indecisiveness is another Gemini trait, which baffles people who come in contact with Gemini’s.
Taurus and Gemini Compatibility
If you look at the Taurus and Gemini traits, it may seem at first that Gemini and Taurus compatibility is almost impossible. Taurus is strong, silent and slow, while Gemini’s are reckless, chatty and fast. They are completely opposite to each other, making Taurus/Gemini compatibility difficult. However, as is said that opposites do attract each other, so there can definitely be something in each of them which may lead to an attraction, making Taurus/Gemini match a possibility.
Gemini’s are indecisive and have a lot of nervous energy in them. The strength and maturity of a Taurus acts like a soothing ointment, making them feel calm and at peace. At the same time, Gemini’s fresh ideas and new ways of looking at life can inspire the Taurus and he can get a new perspective on life, by just being in the Gemini’s company. If both Taurus and Gemini are able to admire and appreciate these qualities in each other, and learn from each other, then Taurus Gemini friendship compatibility and even Taurus Gemini love compatibility can happen.
Taurus and Gemini Sexual Compatibility
Taurus loves a challenge and Gemini is very sexy to Taurus. Ruled by Mercury, Gemini has both beauty and brain. Taurus is an Earth sign and is of course grounded and needs security that Gemini may not give over time. This can drive Taurus to a breaking point. There is potential here as long as both are seeking drama, sporadic separations and dramatic reunions. To make a relationship work, Taurus should give Gemini lots of freedom and Gemini will have to tone down his or her carefree ways. Taurus should stay a mystery to Gemini for best results. Sex can be either horrible or amazing. A one-night stand will leave a lasting impression. Both signs will need to make many compromises if a long-term relationship is desired. Compatibility between these two signs is generalized and for greater accuracy, one’s planets, rising signs and other astrological aspects should be thoroughly explored.
- About Gemini (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- I Am Gemini (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- What? I’m not a Gemini any more? (underthelobsterscope.wordpress.com)
The Wiccan celebration and ritual for Imbolc is fast approaching February 2nd. Imbolc brings the end of winter and of course a time of great change toward spring. Spring, even here in the desert southwest means new, rebirth, regeneration. I find that I often feel uncomfortable with the new because it causes me to reach out and expand my vision. This may be painful and I don’t like the pain that comes with change.
My life at times is cozy and gives me a curious kind of comfort and reassurance. When lonely or anxious or hopeless, I have at times turned toward unhealthy behaviors. I am used to it and don’t need to do much to keep on going in the same old way.
Suddenly, I have seen the error of my ways. Discovery, disgrace, legal issues, isolation, despair, the loss of a partner, the contempt of friends – all possible consequences of that cozy, complacent turn to my old behavior. Yes, I may have awakened one day to find that my old behavior ruined my life! This awareness has caused me to begin reaching out for the hard process of change.
Making difficult change is painful, but that pain is preferable to the agony caused by the inevitable outcome of unhealthy behaviors.
- Change is Painful (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Embracing the Change (mike.kaply.com)
- Enabling And The One You Love (psychologytoday.com)
“Every forward step we take we leave some phantom of ourselves behind.” –John Spalding
There are some people who knew all too well the person I was – before I started to focus on becoming a more emotionally healthy person through personal growth. I know that a person can’t do the kind of work I have on myself and remain unchanged. However, for whatever reason, these people cling to the toxic images in their minds of my former self. I know that each day brings more depth to my spirituality, and with that comes change.
A friend of mine once shared with me that he begins each day by saying out loud, “O.K. God, surprise me!” Although each day brings new challenge, the one thing it won’t bring is perfection. I know that each day I can expect a mixed bag of experiences and all kinds of emotions to match.
If I begin to feel discouraged because of someone’s inability or refusal to see how different I have become, or even negative about life in general, I cultivate an attitude of gratitude by looking back at how far I have come. I remind myself, its progress I’m looking for in myself, not perfection. There’s always something to be grateful for, including the ability to be grateful!
- The Priceless Gift of Personal Growth (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- “A Letting Go” for the Holidays (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Damn Heels Hurt! When In Pain, Who Knows Best Where it Hurts? (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- S.T.A.R. A Tool to Choose Healthy Alternatives (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- For All This We Can Be Grateful and Joyful (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.” — Henry Miller
Henry Valentine Miller (December 26, 1891 –– June 7, 1980) was an American novelist and painter. He was known for breaking with existing literary forms, developing a new sort of novel made up of autobiography, social criticism, philosophical reflection, surrealist free association and mysticism, one that is distinct always about and expressive of the real-life Henry Miller, and yet is also fictional. His works of this kind are Tropic of Cancer, Tropic of Capricorn and Black Spring. Henry Miller also was known to write travel memoirs and essays of literary criticism and analysis.
It is good and healthy to laugh about sex – as long as the laughter is on the side of life. Sex, after all, is part of the life force, and if it is surrounded by caring and honesty, it leads to a joyous intensification of our relationship with others and with the world. Then sex, like laughter, integrates.
Too often, laughing about sex betrays uneasiness, shame, disgust, and the want to hurt. We talk about “dirty jokes” and consign sex to the bathroom. We split off sex from other feelings and surround it with taboos and rituals and mockery. Viewed in this way, sex isolates us.
We need to learn to talk about our sexuality in a proud and affirmative way. Talking and laughing in a group, or with a friend, or with a loved one, is one of the steps we take to bring sex into the open to take its place as part of the diversity of life. Own your sexuality. Talk about it without shame and claim it a vital part of life.
- Setting Healthy Boundaries (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Exploring Healthy Sexuality (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Let’s not talk about sex (guardian.co.uk)