Weakness and fear make me defensive and dogmatic (adhering strictly to something). I often find myself becoming strident and aggressive without any apparent reason. I insult my acquaintances, hurt my friends, and even frighten the neighbor’s children. In that moment, I may feel I am being strong and assertive, and yet the effects are just the opposite of what I had intended. I am hurting, and so I lash out and wound others.
What am I hiding? Why am I feeling threatened, vulnerable and weak? I usually strike out when hiding my needs and fears. I think that, if I attack, maybe I won’t need to let anyone in. I start to make-up in my mind that if I let people in, they won’t love me; I feel unworthy and shameful.
I have come to find out however, that it is the strong that are tolerant and charitable and forgiving. As I continue to grow in confidence and strength, I will find that I too am able to be flexible, patient and open with others. I am striving to be strong, open, tolerant and loving.
- Our deepest fear (bahiehk.com)
- Learning to Overcome Fear (madihaakhtar.wordpress.com)
- Your world is created in your mind, create a great world and you will live happy in it. (runimal800.wordpress.com)
The Three Rune Spread does the job for all but the most demanding or challenging situations. With an issue clearly in mind, select three Runes, one at a time of course. Place them from right to left in the order each Rune was selected. So that one doesn’t make a conscious effort changing the direction of the stones, especially as one becomes familiar with the symbols, it is good practice to place each Rune blank side up, and the turn them over.
With the selection complete, the Runes will be before you as in the diagram above. Reading from the right, the first Rune reveals the Situation; the second or center Rune identifies the Action; and the third Rune (the one on the left) indicates the New Situation. The way in which one happens to turn the Runes may have some effect and alter the direction of the symbols to either an upright or reversed position, but remember, this too is all part of the process. Since only nine Runes read the same upright and reversed, the readings for the remaining Runes will be determined on how the Runes have been placed or turned.
When I was faced with the end of a long term relationship, experiencing emotional pain and grieving over the loss, I turned to the Runes and did a Three Rune Spread. My issue I felt at the time was, “What am I to be learning from this separation?”
From my journal I am able to recall the Runes I drew: Reading from the right, the first Rune was Algiz, the Rune of protection reversed addressed my sense of being totally vulnerable, and unprotected. This was the first time in my adult life I would really be on my own; without a partner. Only right action and correct conduct provide protection in a time such as I was facing. I would have to grow and learn from the loss of the relationship.
The second Rune drawn was Kano, the Rune of opening. I was encouraged to trust the process and consider what aspects of my old conditioning would be best if changed.
Third drawn was Nauthiz, the Rune of constraint and pain. The new growth would not free me from anguish over the situation. The end of that relationship caused me to begin on my path of personal growth. For the first time as an adult, I was working on me. I also came away from this reading knowing that I was being called upon to be mindful of the fact that rectification must come before progress.
Though I was feeling vulnerable and “exposed,” I was made aware that with pain comes the necessary clarity to get on my path of personal growth and change. As I began to move along that path, I was often reminded to consider the positive uses of adversity.
“There must be the listening ear, as well as the still small voice.” – God Calling
In the past when I needed help, I coped through addictions and tools in my emotional tool belt which no longer were appropriate. It helped me to escape, avoid reality and manipulate people. Now that I have greater, healthier options, I have begun to act differently. How can anyone do the same?
Well, practice makes perfect; I practice asking for help. We can all start by staying aware of where we are vulnerable. Prying shame from its grip on our self-esteem helps too. We can know that we do not have to live by different rules than other people; we don’t have to be separate and isolated. We don’t have to be perfect, only real and authentic. Asking for help is O.K.
The Universe or one’s own Higher Power will provide all that is needed, and provide all the answers beyond what any human being could possible offer. When we feel unable to reach out to others, even if we may want to, we can take a risk and turn to the Universe. Turning to our previous unhealthy ways or to an addiction never solves anything; turning to the Universe or Higher Power will.