“A friend is a gift you give yourself.” — Robert Louis Stevenson
More. Some of us have come to believe that more means better. But there are some things where less is more, and one of them is a close friendship. The truth is, we don’t have many special friends, and that is exactly what makes them special.
Between such friends, there is a bond of understanding, honesty, acceptance and love that is valued even more over time. Trusted friends offer us the opportunity to learn to be intimate and to let ourselves be known as we truly are, time and time again. From that mutual sharing, we receive what we need. We can take certain risks, secure in the knowledge that the friendship will endure the test. With our special friends, we don’t have to worry about being perfect because we’re loved for who we are; the way we are. These friendships possess an innate freedom.
Special friendships can be platonic or romantic. It doesn’t matter. Through good times and bad, we begin to sense a divine triangle of growth and love between ourselves, our special friends and our connection with the Universe.
To my close friends, Trish, Andrea, Scott, Kevin and Gregg, “Thank you for accepting “me” as me. The five of you were the special friendships I had in my mind when writing this blog.”
- On Friendship (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- The Gift of Friends (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Her ‘other’ best friend (psychologytoday.com)
“Just remember – when you think all is lost, the future remains.”
– Robert H. Goddard
Ever wonder what it would be like to be lost at sea? I suppose one would begin to think after a while, that there is no such thing as “land”, so immense and frightening the ocean surrounding would become. Imagine nothing but huge stretches of gray, heaving water and the fear that you’re not going to make it. I know I’d cringe and withdraw from rational thought and action. I’d become sick at heart.
That’s sort of how I feel some days; lost. At times it seems that my old tools in my tool belt of coping mechanisms is all that I have and all that I am. As long as I can remember and as far as I can see into the future, that’s all there seems to be.
That’s when I realize that I must shake myself free of that kind of obsessive thinking. If I continue with the analogy of being lost at sea, I know there is land ahead and help at hand. I have seen other people experience finding themselves over again, and getting back on their own path toward personal growth. There have been whole days, weeks, months, when I haven’t felt lost at sea in my life. Those that have gone before me are at my side or just behind me getting started are my lifelines. I trust that together, we will all make a safe passage home if we just believe in ourselves.
- The Challenges of Accepting and Loving Life (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Discovering Our Uniqueness (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Needs That Have Gone Unmet (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Positive Emotions; Building Blocks for Personal Growth (psychologytoday.com)
“In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and given strength to continue and endure.” — Heart Warrior Chosa
In the depths of our misery, some of us hated ourselves so much that we didn’t believe we deserved to live. Some of us had this idea planted in our minds when we were children. Some of us had lives that didn’t seem worth living. Some of us were suffering so much that we were willing to do anything to rid of what we thought of as our miserable life. When things are so difficult in life and it seems there is no other solution to our problems, some of us turn to thoughts of suicide.
How do we go on when we can’t any longer? Very gently. We use everything we can to help us stay alive; the thought of a beloved child, a special friendship, time-out from our normal life, or turning ourselves over to our spiritual source. When we feel suicidal, we may not care about anything; we feel alienated and isolated. But we’re not. To even keep breathing connects us to life; breathe in and out, slowly. If we open ourselves to the fullness of the moment, from this most basic act our connections expand infinitely. We’ve only to hang on, one minute at a time, and reasons to hope again will come. Life is precious because it was given to us by our Higher Power who loves us unconditionally.
“There must be the listening ear, as well as the still small voice.” – God Calling
In the past when I needed help, I coped through addictions and tools in my emotional tool belt which no longer were appropriate. It helped me to escape, avoid reality and manipulate people. Now that I have greater, healthier options, I have begun to act differently. How can anyone do the same?
Well, practice makes perfect; I practice asking for help. We can all start by staying aware of where we are vulnerable. Prying shame from its grip on our self-esteem helps too. We can know that we do not have to live by different rules than other people; we don’t have to be separate and isolated. We don’t have to be perfect, only real and authentic. Asking for help is O.K.
The Universe or one’s own Higher Power will provide all that is needed, and provide all the answers beyond what any human being could possible offer. When we feel unable to reach out to others, even if we may want to, we can take a risk and turn to the Universe. Turning to our previous unhealthy ways or to an addiction never solves anything; turning to the Universe or Higher Power will.