“The absurd man is he who never changes.” — Auguste Barthelemy
Lately, I find myself feeling sick and tired being me, because it seems I am always the same, never-changing. My emotional life often seems like a treadmill, never varying in its fantasies or rituals. I haven’t acted to alter things, I’ve only acted out. And in acting out I am driven by a compulsion to repeat actions that gave me little pleasure and no joy.
I am beginning to realize that the same feelings come up all the time and throughout the course of each day. I find myself thinking or saying, “Everything’s just the same.” Or, “I’m just not getting anywhere.” My day-to-day life seems about the same; nothing dramatic has happened, nothing special is going to happen. Inertia. Despair.
If I look around at others; in my community, in groups and check things out, I may be able to see more clearly the changes that have taken place. Yes, I begin to become aware that “Alan” is different, and less negative, and “Justin” is energetic and outgoing. Change may take place slowly, but it does happen. For sure.
- The Mother of all Depressions (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- A Gift So Rich This Holiday (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Discovering Our Uniqueness (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Personal Growth (retrohousewifegoesgreen.com)