“Tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free. Tis a gift to come round to where we ought to be. And when we find a place that feels just right, We will be in the valley of Love and Delight.” — Appalachian folk song
As I focus more on positivity, I find myself taking time to feel gratitude and joy. My true Self is emerging and becoming more present every day. For this I am grateful. I am taking those all important “baby steps” to rebuild my self-esteem. I am worthwhile and lovable, and for all this I am grateful.
Just as I have come to know joy, I have known sorrow and I will know both again because that is the nature of life. If I trust that the Universe is turning everything that happens to good, I can truly say, “Thy will, not mine, be done.” Is it asking too much to be grateful for everything that happens to me? I must admit that on some days, it certainly seems so. But I have found that those days pass, and after they do, I once again begin to see my purpose in life. It is then that I feel content, knowing that I have the promise as well as the reality of this new life I have chosen.
“It is an old an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way.” — Rollo May
Our boundaries are both inside and outside ourselves. No one can set them for us; we can only set them. For many of us, boundaries are often unfamiliar. We may wonder, what are they? How do we use them? Some of us may have come from families where, as children, our boundaries were disregarded; perhaps creating a pattern we continue to live out as adults.
Starting to set boundaries for ourselves takes time and lots of practice. Because the experience is so unfamiliar, we may find ourselves vacillating between two extremes – holding back out fear of blurring our boundaries, or acting as if we have no boundaries at all. But our willingness to set boundaries and stick with them brings a clearer sense of who we are. We begin to learn where we start and end. We start to learn the same about other people. With boundaries comes a new sense of self-respect because they become our affirmations to ourselves that we are not objects to be trampled upon or used, but rather human beings, with dignity.
One way to create boundaries with people is to show priorities in our relationships. In the past, out of loneliness or neediness, we may have talked to anyone, whether the person wanted to listen or not. In this mixed-up world, we would find ourselves withholding our true feelings from people close to us, and spilling them instead on the cashier at the grocery store.
As we grow in self-esteem. Our relationships improve and we act in positive ways to meet our needs. Then we have a better sense of who we are. We make choices in our relationships and take responsibility for them. We learn to bear the pain of boundaries that are not respected and enjoy the peace from those that are.
We no longer need to give ourselves away in bits and pieces; we know now what it is like to be whole. We can simultaneously have acquaintances, friends, co-workers, and even close, intimate relationships in our lives. We can trust we will act appropriately and that our boundaries will keep us safe.
- Wendy Strgar: The Importance of Boundaries (huffingtonpost.com)
- Reigniting Personal Boundaries (24hourparadigm.com)
- Judith Acosta, LISW, CHT: Narcissism and Self-Defense: The Necessity of ‘No’ and Why It’s So Hard to Say (huffingtonpost.com)
The Silva Method of Mind Control
During one of the first trips I made back to my hometown of Milwaukee after relocating to Phoenix, Arizona, I was visiting with friends and shared I had taken a class in mind control. I had wrestled with some emotional issues after moving, and was eager to share my new-found abilities. I mentioned “Silva Mind Control”. One of my friends said, “Oh yeah, I see their commercials on TV all the time. They get kids grades in school to go up. You in school honey?” I cringed. She was referring to the “Sylvan” learning program. So began the long journey of misunderstandings that occur each time I try to share this valuable tool I’ve found.
After the move from Milwaukee to Phoenix, I not only had to deal with the adjustment just from the move itself, but I also ended a 16 ½ year relationship. The move was a result from the sale of a business I founded and owned for 15 years. The company that acquired mine turned out to be unscrupulous and it pained me to see the disrespectful way in which they treated my clients – my friends of so many years! I found myself dwelling and ruminating. My mind felt so full. My thoughts began to seem jumbled to me; I craved a good night’s sleep. My mind however, wouldn’t let sleep come to me. I kept hearing in my head that I should “learn to control my mind”. That “tape” playing in my head led me to an Internet search which led me to the office of Joan McGillicuddy and Antonio Estrada of Helping Associates, in Casa Grande, Arizona; an hour’s drive from my home in Phoenix.
The website for Helping Associates had a list of “clinically proven benefits” from their seminar. That list included:
- Increased creativity
- Improved health, energy, vitality and sleeping ability
- Improved memory
- Improved intuition
- Improved understanding and application of intuition
- Improved self-esteem
- Improved self-acceptance
- Improved habit control
- Improved self-assurance; freedom from guilt
- Improved social orientation, greater assertiveness and spontaneity
- Improved coöperation with life and others
- Improved physical self-image
- Improved attitudinal change to enthusiasm
- Improved personal integration of emotions and harmony in personal affairs
- Improved adherence to social order
- Improved family relationships
- Improved use of dreams to solve problems
(Helping Associates 2010)
I saw what I was longing for. Improvement! I called the office of Helping Associates and enrolled into the next class which was three weeks away. Those three weeks seemed to drag. The seminar was held over a weekend, and I have gained many benefits as a result. The most important skill that I honed was meditation. I had never meditated before. At last, I was on the road to controlling my mind.
I’ll write more about my personal experiences and what I gained from the seminar, and I’ll break this information up into a series of blogs. First, I must share that this is not the Sylvan Learning program! This is the Silva Method of Mind Control, founded by an amazing man named Jose Silva.
What is the Silva Method?
The Silva Method is a program that awakens and educates people to an expanded inner awareness for self power to change; to create a better and better life. The Silva Method was discovered and developed by Jose Silva. His discovery came more than 60 years ago. Through his study, practice and faith, Jose realized that within each of us is another world; the inner world where one’s Higher Self resides. To enter this inner world he has given us the techniques outlined in the Silva Method; the first and most important being the entrance to the Alpha level of consciousness. The Alpha level is the doorway to spiritual guidance, inspiration, intuition and higher consciousness.
The Silva Method is designed to help one learn to use more of the brain and elevate the creative powers of the mind through the use visualization, imagination, positive thinking and meditation. The method consists of guided exercises that allow learning in a relaxed alpha state where one is empowered with tools and techniques that can be applied to improve essentially every area of life.
With practice, one becomes more in tune with the inner self, enhanced ability to use both brain hemispheres, and the ability to use the higher consciousness to use information for problem solving. Each exercise leads to greater awareness, an increased ability to solve everyday problems, a better perspective of life, and greater success in manifesting one’s desires. By using the foundation of the Silva Method which includes desire, belief, and expectancy, one can do personal greatness. The Silva Method can be learned by anyone. In the more than 40 years of existence The Silva Method has been taught to people of all ages, and walks of life.
The Silva Method can potentially change life for the better. It has mine. The tools and techniques in The Silva Method are designed to influence every aspect of life, such as managing stress, improving the quality of thoughts, overcoming bad habits, improving learning ability, managing pain and discomfort, manifesting goals and even enhancing intuition. The Silva Method has become part of me; not a single day goes by without my accessing some part of what I learned in that first seminar.
About Jose Silva
The man behind The Silva Method — is to me a great inspiration and it is important for me to share how he developed one of the most innovative educational programs from his humble beginning. Jose Silva was born in Laredo, TX, on the border of Mexico, on Aug. 11, 1914. He was a self-educated man; never having attended school a day in his life.
Jose Silva’s father died when he was just four years old and when he was six Jose helped support his family. He learned from his brothers and sisters the lessons they were learning in school. Through his perseverance and curiosity in learning, he eventually became a well-respected business person. His interest in electronics and grew a business which established an electronics training school in his hometown. Jose Silva designed and received patents for several biofeedback instruments, and wrote over a dozen books.
As a teen, Jose Silva was earning a reputation as a successful business person. From a borrowed correspondence course loaned to him by his barber, he got into radio. That education led to the development of the largest electronics repair business in south Texas.
Married at the age of 30, Jose Silva began to study psychology to find ways to help his children do better in school. He spent over 20 years studying great minds, researching the human condition, and developing his method. The study of psychology led him to hypnosis, which led him to meditation. As a result of this unexpected turn of events, he began to research metaphysics. Eventually, Silva developed a method that could teach anyone how to develop their own intuition.
In the mid 1960’s Jose Silva’s successful program became known beyond Laredo where he was teaching his method to more than 100 people every week. Soon he was asked to teach groups who were willing to pay him for his knowledge. At the age of 52 Silva began the work that would make him famous.
Jose Silva was many things during his full lifetime. He was deeply devoted to his family, his business, the arts and education. He was fascinated with the mind development and human potential. He spent his entire lifetime developing his creative and intuitive abilities and teaching others to find their own abilities within themselves. The Silva Mind Control Method teaches people how to actually control their own minds for better health, faster learning, greater creativity, and for the development of their psychic ability.
Programs have been spawned from Jose Silva’s years of research. Former students such as doctors teach patients how to use visualization and imagination in treating cancer. Professional artists, sculptors, athletes, business executives, scientists and people from all walks of life have benefited from the program. The greatest contribution of the Silva Method is in teaching people how to actually develop and use their intuition to get information and correct problems. After my first seminar, I have gone back for at least four more, often taking a family member or close friend who expressed interest in learning how to develop their intuitive skills and improve their life. One family member suffered for many years from migraine headaches. The Silva Method has given this member of my family the ability to control her pain without the use of analgesics or other prescribed medications. For me, I have gained the ability to quiet my mind and listen to my inner Self. When strong recall is required I am able to retrieve information that normally would have been lost to me. I used some of the Silva tools while taking a course to prepare for the state of Arizona’s realtor examination. I confidently answered every question and easily passed the test.
The seminars occur over a three or four-day period. It is difficult to convey the complete educational part or the experiences one has during the seminar. In my upcoming blogs, I will discuss “programming” of the mind, the process of going into the Alpha state, meditation, ways to use the method for stress and relaxation, a technique to make falling asleep easy, and even a technique that makes waking up without an alarm clock even easier!
- Intuition Psychology | Latest US Hot News (timmerman2000.com)
- The Silva Method: Mental Housekeeping (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- Introduction to Concepts of the Brain – Silva Style (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
Your Brain – It’s Vibrating
To begin to understand the Silva Method, one must first learn a little about the human brain. My educational background is in nursing, which gives me the tendency at times to relate information regarding the body on a level not readily understood by those without my same education and training. This is important for anyone serious about understanding the discoveries of Jose Silva. Therefore, I will break the information up into short, simplistic blogs.
Most successful people use their brains differently than the average person. These flourishing individuals use more of their minds and use it in a special way. Science tells us that the human brain vibrates with electrical energy. When deep asleep, the brain vibrates very slowly. When one is in a light level of sleep, where dreams take place, the brain vibrates more rapidly. Wide awake, the brain vibrates more rapidly still.
When one is wide awake and looking at things and thinking logically, the brain vibrates about 20 times per second. Scientists have defined this as the beta brain wave frequency. When one is very relaxed, in a light level of sleep, the brain vibrates more slowly of course, between seven and fourteen vibrations per second. Scientists define this as the alpha brain wave level. Still lower brain frequencies exist and are known as theta and delta, the slowest of deep sleep.
As an infant on average, a smaller part of the brain was used. An infant’s brain functions mostly in delta and theta, the slowest frequencies of the brain. As on grows older, more and more of the brain is accessed. Between the ages of seven and fourteen, the brain begins to function more in the alpha region; from alpha begins the development of the use of that part of the brain associated with beta frequencies. As humans, we all had the ability to use all of our brain; however, through no fault of our own, some might not develop the ability.
As individuals enter their teenage years, an interesting phenomenon begins to take place; some people albeit very few, learn to use both the left and the right sides of the brain to think with, while most learn to use only the left side to think with.
The left side of the brain or brain hemisphere is associated with logical thought and also with experiences in the physical world. The left brain hemisphere stores the experiences of sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch. The right hemisphere of the brain stores the experiences of the imagination, what one visualizes and what one imagines. Young children of course use their imagination quite a bit. As they grow older, they become so involved with all of the learning associated with the physical world around them, that some may use less imagination or even stop using imagination altogether. In this situation, the left brain hemisphere develops but the right hemisphere lags behind to think with.
Most individuals beyond the age of fourteen no longer have the ability to use the alpha brain frequency levels consciously. When the brain is slowed to alpha, they go to sleep. As a result, only half of the human brain is used for thinking.
For those interested in learning to use the right hemisphere of the brain for thinking, one must first learn to slow the brain to the alpha level – and without going to sleep, just as it could be achieved between the ages of seven and fourteen. Once the brain can be intentionally slowed to alpha level, one must practice using the right hemisphere of the brain for thinking. This is exactly what the Silva Method sets out to teach. The right side of the brain helps the achievement of goals.
If one can consciously reach alpha level, it is feasible for one to see improvement in many areas of life – improved health, memory, and the ability to learn more quickly, to perform better in business and see an increase in earning potential, improved relationships full of love and happiness.
Have you ever wondered why only a few exceptional people are considered to be outstanding in any field of endeavor? That’s because those exceptional people are among a minority of humans who grew up using both hemispheres of the brain. Think about it: they have more access to greater brain power from both sides as opposed to the masses who utilize only one.
The left hemisphere of the brain is logical. This is of course useful and very important and certain times. However, this logical process can get in one’s way as well. Consider that it was the left hemisphere of the brain that “knew” many years ago that no one could build a machine that would carry a human into flight. It had never been done, so therefore logic dictated that it would never be accomplished.
The right hemisphere is not limited by logic. It functions with the use of mental images. If one gives the right hemisphere a mental picture of what is desired, accompanied with one’s own faith that it can be accomplished, and keep the left brain from interjecting any of its logical doubts, then one can achieve what one desires. I have found that as I listen to successful individuals share their experiences in becoming successful, I realize how total and complete their concentration is, and how strong their mental visualization is.
To enjoy our own level of success, it is hopefully clear by now to the reader that the first step is to learn to reach the alpha level without falling asleep and also to learn to stay at that level for one to use visualization and imagination. The Silva Method has taught me through beginning exercises to reach the alpha level through practiced relaxation. Eventually, one can achieve all of the benefits of alpha functioning without going through relaxation.
To be successful at attaining alpha level, one must learn to concentrate and maintain attention on what one desires to think about. Should another thought intrude (and they will), let it go and bring the attention back to what is desired. In the beginning, no effort should be made in the mental dimension. One must just force oneself to relax, keeping in mind that the effort of trying creates tension and in the world of the mind, that only makes matters worse. As I continue to blog about my firsthand experience with learning from Silva and applying it to life, the reader will come to know that in the world of the mind, one must attract what it is that one wants. Relaxation and sustained concentration manifests all the success that is desired.
- The Cutting Edge Of Brain Research (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)
- Teaching the Difference Between the Left and Right Hemisphere (brighthub.com)
Ten Thoughts to Help Avoid Disappointment and Negativity
- 1. Look at life as a journey and enjoy the ride. Get the most out of the detours and realize they are sometimes necessary.
- 2. Do your best, but if what you have done has caused you discouragement, try a different approach. Be passionate about the process, but do not be so attached to the outcome.
- 3. Wish the very best for everyone, with no personal strings attached. Applaud someone else’s win as much as you would your own.
- 4. Trust that there is a divine plan, written by us, and for us, with the oversight of the Divine Universe. However through purposeful blindness, we no longer know what is best for us. A disappointment now, could well mean a victory later, so do not be disappointed. There is usually a reason.
- 5. Ask no more of yourself than the best that you can do, and be satisfied with that. Be compassionate toward yourself as well as others. Know your calling, your gifts, and do them well.
- 6. Do not worry about something when over; it is out of your hands at that point, too late, and over! Learn the lesson. That is what we are here on this earth to do. Move on.
- 7. Have the attitude that no one, except you, owes you anything. Give without expecting a thank-you or anything in return. But when someone does something for you, be appreciative of even the smallest gesture.
- 8. Choose your thoughts, or your thoughts will choose you; they will free you or keep you bound. Educate your Spirit and give it authority over your feelings.
- 9. Judge no one, and disappointment and forgiveness will not be an issue. No one can let you down, if you are not leaning on them. People cannot hurt you unless you allow them to.
- 10. Love anyway, for no reason. Give, just because.
(As adapted from the works contained within “The Language of Positive Thinking”)
“What you think about expands” — Alan Cohen
What we think, our attachment to and interpretation of our Affirmations are positive, personal statements that enhance self-esteem and a healthy attitude. Focusing our attention on an affirmation creates energy for the positive to develop. It also breaks the pattern of fear-based thoughts and self-defeating rumination.yields the result.
Unfortunately, by reciting an affirmation, one des not magically bring forth the desired outcome. The reading of affirmations is one of many tools to help one’s self in the deep exploration of the true self. Affirmations are best used along with conscious awareness, self-honesty, truthful living, love, forgiveness and acceptance of one’s self and others.
Many years ago, a dear friend presented me with an affirmation jar. Inside are 1″x6″ strips of paper in a bright display of primary colors: yellow, blue, green, purple, pink and red. Each strip of paper has a unique affirmation that goes something like:
“I unconditionally nurture myself today”
“Lightheartedness is an part of all that I am”
“I trust in the good and release my need to control”
“I am an enthusiastic participant in the process of co-creation”
“I willingly release harbored emotions, forgiving myself and others”
I don’t know how many originally came with the jar from my dear friend, but there seem to be hundreds! Many have been added over the years, either by myself or from friends along the way. I like to begin each day by pulling an affirmation. I’ll clip it to my calendar for the day, or place it on my computer monitor if I’m going to be doing a lot of writing. Just as long as it is somewhere that keeps that thought in my mind. Some days, I’ll use the affirmation that I pulled as the basis of my journaling, or even my blogging. I try to repeat my affirmation several times to reinforce its strength.
Gratitude for the abundance that is mine and that is to come is always heartfelt, just like the gratitude I shall always have for my dear friendwho gave me one more tool to manifest wholeness and inner peace.
“Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.” — Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is forgiveness. When we remember the past, we often find we were much harder on ourselves than we were on other people. We may no longer even remember some of our misdeeds, but it’s not so easy to erase the effects of self-punishment on our identity and self-esteem.
There is no need for us to punish ourselves. We can apologize to ourselves, just as we do to others. Then, we can forgive ourselves just as we do to others, and just as we are forgiven by them.
When we find it hard to forgive ourselves and let go, there are actions we can take: Reach out to someone, or try to find the real feelings beneath the urge to be so hard on ourselves. We can still be honest and choose gentleness. We can also keep our perspective, seeing things realistically and not creating a catastrophe where there is none. We can turn to the Universe, asking for a higher forgiveness and be assured of the Universe’s understanding and love.