“What we love we shall grow to resemble.” — Bernard of Clairvaux
There comes a day when we realize that looking for external solutions to our problems just won’t work. How vain has been the time and energy spent looking for the perfect mate or partner, the perfect job, the perfect life. So instead, we start to search for internal solutions; we begin to change ourselves.
To change ourselves is a different process from controlling ourselves, which cannot be done. But when we start to give up the control, the rigidity, the perfectionism, the self-will, we begin to change. This change seems like a miracle because it is! It’s an incredible gift from the Universe, who loves us beyond our imagining. The more we change our focus from the external to the internal, the more we’re able to accept ourselves. We become humble with each small choice to accept ourselves as we are. We become whole as we let that choice be enough for today.
Are you living within yourself or outside of yourself today? To keep the focus within requires self-acceptance.
Human misery must somewhere have a stop:
There is no wind that always blows a storm.
It’s easy to think we’ll always be in the same boat, that our characters are fixed, our habits unalterable. “This is who I am. You can take me or leave me.” I know that when I find myself saying similar words to myself or thinking in this way, I often mean, “When you know who I really am, you will leave me.” No one is predestined to be a certain person or to behave in a particular way.
No one stops growing and changing either. We have to have faith in the immense possibilities of movement and growth. Life itself is more than winds and storms. It can be calm, changeable, hot, dry, mellow, promising, gloomy, bright, serene and even phenomenal!
We can match life’s immense diversity of moods. We are a part of life; part of all this wondrous change and diversity and if we are not afraid to let ourselves go a bit, we can be as variable and flexible as life itself.
- Letter: My Life in Therapy (nytimes.com)
- Friends share personal details to strengthen relationships in United States, but not in Japan, study finds (sciencedaily.com)
- If-then plans help protect us from the ‘to hell with it’ effect (bps-research-digest.blogspot.com)
“What you think about expands” — Alan Cohen
What we think, our attachment to and interpretation of our Affirmations are positive, personal statements that enhance self-esteem and a healthy attitude. Focusing our attention on an affirmation creates energy for the positive to develop. It also breaks the pattern of fear-based thoughts and self-defeating rumination.yields the result.
Unfortunately, by reciting an affirmation, one des not magically bring forth the desired outcome. The reading of affirmations is one of many tools to help one’s self in the deep exploration of the true self. Affirmations are best used along with conscious awareness, self-honesty, truthful living, love, forgiveness and acceptance of one’s self and others.
Many years ago, a dear friend presented me with an affirmation jar. Inside are 1″x6″ strips of paper in a bright display of primary colors: yellow, blue, green, purple, pink and red. Each strip of paper has a unique affirmation that goes something like:
“I unconditionally nurture myself today”
“Lightheartedness is an part of all that I am”
“I trust in the good and release my need to control”
“I am an enthusiastic participant in the process of co-creation”
“I willingly release harbored emotions, forgiving myself and others”
I don’t know how many originally came with the jar from my dear friend, but there seem to be hundreds! Many have been added over the years, either by myself or from friends along the way. I like to begin each day by pulling an affirmation. I’ll clip it to my calendar for the day, or place it on my computer monitor if I’m going to be doing a lot of writing. Just as long as it is somewhere that keeps that thought in my mind. Some days, I’ll use the affirmation that I pulled as the basis of my journaling, or even my blogging. I try to repeat my affirmation several times to reinforce its strength.
Gratitude for the abundance that is mine and that is to come is always heartfelt, just like the gratitude I shall always have for my dear friendwho gave me one more tool to manifest wholeness and inner peace.
“Whom they have injured, they also hate.” — Seneca
When someone has something we want, we may be surprised at the depth and suddenness with which envy can overwhelm us. One moment, we’re happy; the next, we’re filled with longing. Once we become honest with ourselves and admit we feel envious, we can start to work on ridding ourselves of it. We have uncounted blessings in our lives, and if we simply take the time to count them, envy will fade from our mind as gratitude takes over.
Gratitude can help release envy especially when we share our feelings underneath the envy. Our challenge is to accept ourselves as we are and let that be enough. It is, in fact, more than enough because all that we are comes from the Universe. It’s better to keep seeing ourselves as the proverbial glass: half-full, not half-empty. We can bless and release whatever person, event, or thing that led to the envy so that we may be ourselves, whole, once again.
“Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.” — Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is forgiveness. When we remember the past, we often find we were much harder on ourselves than we were on other people. We may no longer even remember some of our misdeeds, but it’s not so easy to erase the effects of self-punishment on our identity and self-esteem.
There is no need for us to punish ourselves. We can apologize to ourselves, just as we do to others. Then, we can forgive ourselves just as we do to others, and just as we are forgiven by them.
When we find it hard to forgive ourselves and let go, there are actions we can take: Reach out to someone, or try to find the real feelings beneath the urge to be so hard on ourselves. We can still be honest and choose gentleness. We can also keep our perspective, seeing things realistically and not creating a catastrophe where there is none. We can turn to the Universe, asking for a higher forgiveness and be assured of the Universe’s understanding and love.