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The Duality of Me

The Duality of Me

The Duality of Me

“He communicates information and brings people together. That’s why in medical astrology Gemini rules the nervous system; it functions as a network to carry messages from the senses to the brain. In social situations, the Gemini archetype is also the catalyst. This involves two factors of course – positive and negative (dual). In the positive sense, Gemini friends are good at circulating your business card at social events. Give them a stack of cards to add t their gardener’s, hairdresser’s, caterer’s, seamstresses. But, in the negative sense, beware of the gossip tendency.” – Kathleen Burt

I am a Gemini. There was a time when I was ashamed to say that I’m a Gemini.  People would begin to go off about how horrible their entire life experience has been with us Gems.  Really.  And then they’d hurl their judgments of me (cloaked as comparisons of course), by the time they were done, I felt like an inappropriate, over talkative, manipulative ass. I’d try to recover by saying, “I’m gregarious”.  But you wouldn’t even believe the number of people that chose to believe that I’m not a safe person to be around – because I’m a Gemini.  Well let me tell you this: there is a duality about me.  And it’s all good. Sure, I may be Bi-polar.  But that’s all good too.

Some of my friends and family actually enjoy that I’m a Gemini.  My duality.  Yes, there seems to be two of me in many aspects of my life.  But to a degree, it balances me.  I still love myself when I hate myself.  See myself as honest when I’m lying.  See myself as creative when I feel like a slug.  See what I mean?  And you know what?  I am gregarious!  I love people.  Love to hate ’em and love to love ’em.  Sometimes I love too fast.  Sometimes I want all that I cannot have or have.  But overall, I love who I am, and am happy that I’m loved by someone else.


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Imperfection Seen Through a Filter of Love

“The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers.”  — Arthur Koestler

Many of us like me believed that we should strive for perfection, and often this means imitating someone whose life seems exemplary to us. We take enormously high standards from outside and we soon begin applying them to ourselves. I find that in my mind I obsessively check all the things people in my life may need or expect from me. Many of these thoughts and self-assessments reveal failure(s) on my part. I realize that I then begin to pre-plan the reaction. My pattern is I then start to beat myself up for my failures.

When we fall short, we berate ourselves. We become convinced that because we aren’t saints, we must have fallen from grace; imperfect, we come to despise ourselves. Surely, no one is as worthless as we are! We’ve failed again. Relapsed maybe, or acted out perhaps. Who could love us if they knew who we really were? When we take part in healthy relationships, we are not seen as we see ourselves – the shortfalls, the failures, missed opportunities, or any of the other negative ways we see us. Good and healthy people filter the way they see us and the filter is love.

So why then, do we insist on being judged by impossible standards? Why, oh why would we want to be like someone else? Why should we not search for what makes us original, precious, and worthy of care and love? Then we don’t have to go around with our eyes on the ground; we can look the world in the face because we know who we are. Who? Ourselves!

Saving Yourself

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark.  The real tragedy is when men are afraid of the light. —  Plato

FORGIVE THE PAST!

LIVE EACH DAY FULLY!

BE EAGER FOR TOMORROW!

“Forgive the past by releasing the pain; it will only hurt you and others. Live each day fully by forgiving the past and looking forward to tomorrow; you can’t change yesterday or tomorrow without changing your actions today. Look forward to tomorrow by building and sharing you love to help you meet your goals.”

LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS!


The Joy and Pain of Loving

 

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“The main motive for ‘non-attachment’ is a desire to escape from the pain of living, and above all from love, which, sexual or non-sexual is hard work.”  — George Orwell

In popular romances, love is often presented as a bed of roses – without the thorns.  We may also have the idea that loving is always like falling in love – tricky, risky, thrilling, open-ended, a real high.  And perhaps that is what we go on seeking when we act out in unhealthy ways.

But love, over time, needs energy, loyalty, skill, patience, devotion – the same talents and dedication we need to bring to our work, or other commitments.  Of course, love can be joyous and playful and childlike, but if it is to grow and mature it needs careful tending and hard work. 

Love brings us into a close relationship with the pains as well as the joys of living.  If we dare to become involved, intimate, committed, we will find ourselves becoming mature individuals in touch with the realities not of romance, but of life.