Blog Archives

Weakness and Fear

“When people are least sure, they are often most dogmatic.”  — J.K. Galbraith

Weakness and fear make me defensive and dogmatic (adhering strictly to something).  I often find myself becoming strident and aggressive without any apparent reason.  I insult my acquaintances, hurt my friends, and even frighten the neighbor’s children.   In that moment, I may feel I am being strong and assertive, and yet the effects are just the opposite of what I had intended.  I am hurting, and so I lash out and wound others.

What am I hiding?  Why am I feeling threatened, vulnerable and weak?  I usually strike out when hiding my needs and fears.  I think that, if I attack, maybe I won’t need to let anyone in.  I start to make-up in my mind that if I let people in, they won’t love me; I feel unworthy and shameful.

I have come to find out however, that it is the strong that are tolerant and charitable and forgiving.  As I continue to grow in confidence and strength, I will find that I too am able to be flexible, patient and open with others.  I am striving to be strong, open, tolerant and loving.

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Reading Between the Lines

vital-signs

 

I’m walking down the line
that divides me somewhere in my mind
on the border line of the edge
and where I walk alone

Read between the lines what’s
fucked up and every things all right
Check my vital signs to know I’m still alive
And I walk alone

Green Day – Boulevard of Broken Dreams Lyrics

Too often, I find that I am superstitious and interpret signs that appear in life in negative or hostile ways.  Because I don’t believe in myself, it is then that I tend to think that fate is against me.

But life isn’t for or against any of us.  If we are attentive, we will see many signs of promise during each day; signs of promise, signs of goodness, and signs of beauty.  If we trust ourselves and the Universe, we will know how to interpret the world and use it to do good things.

Sometimes, we may be unsure of our next step or even our general direction in life.  If we are patient and alert to the world around us, we will pick up on the many hints and clues that will help us on our way – a telephone call from a friend, a warm hug, a chance encounter, a job offer, a word of advice from a special loved one.  When we are ready, we’ll know how to respond and what to do.

One thing we can learn to be sure of: in this world of signs, we are not alone.  We don’t want to believe in a hostile fate, do we?  The world is good and we can find our way in it by being patient and learning to read the signs.

The handwriting on the wall may be a forgery.  — Ralph Hodgson