Sexuality is not something we do, but its part of whom we are. We are physical, intellectual, emotional, sexual and spiritual people, and all parts are equally important. To consider sexuality as energy, a state of being, and not a state of activity, helps us bring our sexuality and our sexual expression back within ourselves.
Part of my challenge with sexuality is to explore what healthy sexuality is and to decide what my values and behaviors are going to be. I am responsible only for taking care of myself; it is not up to me to decide sexual issues for others or for society. It is more than enough to know my own needs and how I will meet them. I can give myself permission to put sexuality in its rightful place. It is an important part of who I am, but only a part, not the entire sum of my personality and being.
- The New Research Behind Sexual Orientation (socyberty.com)
- 10 Tips For Healthy Sexual Relationship (mademan.com)
- Not Enough Sex (huffingtonpost.com)
- Can Sexual Desire Remain Vital and Satisfying in Long-Term Relationships? (psychologytoday.com)
“I’d never seen men hold each other. I thought the only thing they were allowed to do was shake hands or fight.” —Rita Mae Brown
Like many men, I grew up without knowing the warmth of lovingly touching one another. Some of us had fathers who trapped themselves in a stereotypical male role, afraid to hold us and show their love for us. We may have learned to be independent, competitive, and even separate. We often fall into awkwardness and isolation. As men especially, we become afraid to reach out, hug, and hold someone of our own sex. So many of us, whether male or female, have lost touch with ourselves and with others. We have been alone far too long.
One result when pursuing personal growth is the awareness and beginning of healthy and proper holding of one another and giving hugs. At first, we may find it embarrassing and keep our distance. As we learn to loosen up and reach out, we look forward to the warmth and strength that comes from giving and receiving a friendly, caring hug. It is good to learn to touch in a fearless and nonsexual way. I am glad to be in touch with other people through hugging and holding.
- Reach Out and Touch Someone (psychologytoday.com)
- “How Does The Military Prove That Someone Is Gay?” (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)
- Same-sex hand holding (Sshh!) (pinkbananaworld.com)