Posted by Mark Schmitz
“Only that action is just which does not harm either party to a dispute.” — Gandhi
Most of the disputes I have occur when I realize I have been lied to. I hate being lied to. I’m not stupid. I want to know that I’m dealing with people in “reality” rather than a fictitious world made up through lies. I find myself occasionally embroiled in a bitter dispute and feel determined at all costs to back a person into a corner to get them to admit to their lie, or to impose my solution to the dispute, even though I know it may cause the other person harm. I have come to know that I don’t really want a solution at all; I want revenge.
The wish to harm others may be derived from feeling that I have been hurt, perhaps as a child. I may be recalling feelings of being neglected, misunderstood, or even abused and assaulted. So to me, in my mind, the world owes me something and I intend to collect. I may even bear grudges and resentments against successful people, not because they have done me wrong, but merely because they are – successful.
I need to let my shame and sorrow out into the clear light of day. By opening myself up to others, I will surely find that together we can defuse my anger and want to hurt others. I can stand on equal footing with others and have no more need for resentment and rage.
I know that I am gradually getting rid of my secret shame that causes me to act out of anger and vindictiveness.
- Shame (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- But I’m ANGRY! (christophersmark.wordpress.com)
- The Consequences of Anger (socyberty.com)
Posted in Adversity, Challenge, Controversy, Dispute, End of Relationship, Family, Friends, Friendship, Friendships, Hate, Honesty, Hope, Hurt emotions, Life, Life's Lessons, Lying, Past Transgressions, Personal Growth, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Self-improvement, Shortcomings, Truth, Vindictive
Tags: Anger, Anger Management, Challenge, Chilhood Memories, Conflict, Controversy, Dishonest, Dispute, Fear, feelings, Feelings of being misunderstood, Feelings of being neglected, Feelings of having been abused, Feelings of having been assaulted, Forgiveness, Friends, Friendship, Gandhi, grudges, Hate, Honesty, Hope, Lies, Life, Life's Lessons, Lying, Misdirected Anger, Personal Growth, Rage, Relationships, Resentment, Resentments, revenge, Shame, Shortcomings, sorrow, Truth, Vindictive