Posted by Mark Schmitz
ere we are, Mark and Christopher. Two individuals, who are very much in love with one another and who for the most part, began our relationship treating one another with respect, compassion, and empathy. Between us there is a vast amount of education, street smarts, creativity, persuasiveness, and many more qualities that are just too incredibly numerous to mention here in this blog. In the beginning of our relationship, some friends and acquaintances started referring to us as “The Incredibles” from our outward display of confidence when facing such an abundance of adversity. Our calm and confident exterior merely masks our inner insecurities and anxieties.
We define our union as one which consists of a unique love; a love that can be honored as that “once in a lifetime, love of your life” experience. With this intense love comes also a naiveté that creates an expectation in each of us that has us making up in our heads that by simply having found one another, making a commitment and by living a life which , though somewhat complicated, would at least afford us an easy rhythm. But that is not what we have created up to this point in our lives. We have created our own drama.
Each day, we face the remnants of our previous lives, misdirected anger, domestic violence, our battle and recovery to our addiction to crystal meth, financial setbacks created by our inability to budget, medical issues associated with our HIV+ status, mental health issues and our all around poor choices.
Since our path isn’t “revealing itself” by screaming, “Hi! Here I am!” we are striving to stay open to finding our path for ourselves. Once we feel we are on the right path, we plan to figure out how best to stay on it. The correct path will lead us through life and the lessons we are destined to learn and we will grow.
Through my blogs, I hope to share all of the drama and all of the challenges we have faced, and are facing now. For some, the experiences that I share will be difficult to understand because our life may be very different from others and may leave the reader feeling unsettled, uneasy or uncomfortable. Hopefully, readers will be able to discern a process of awareness, attempts to rectify or improve the situations by using new and more effective tools for coping. The rewards for facing our issues and choosing healthier solutions have so far included a raised and more heightened sense of awareness, an evolving definition of our own spirituality, a growing feeling of balance and stability, an easier rhythm to life, financial stability, less of a feeling of being “lost, alone and afraid”, synchronicity and a trust in the Universe’s ability to care for us.
As promised on my primary introduction page on WordPress, the posts I make will be nothing short of a pure and rigorous honesty. Pure honesty about the lessons I am learning and a life I feel I am beginning to master.
Posted in Addiction, AIDS, Boundaries, Change, Conflict, Depression, Fear, Gay, Gay, Lesbian Bi-sexual, Transgendered, Queer [GLBTQ], Health, HIV, Honesty, Intimacy, Life, Life's Lessons, Love, Lying, Narcissism, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Personal Growth, Recovery, Relationships
Tags: Addiction, AIDS, Boundaries, Change, commitment, commitments sealed with a kiss, Conflict, Crystal Meth, Depression, difficult times, Difficulty, drug abuse, Drug Addiction, Face Difficulty, Fear, Financial Difficulty, Gay, Gay Culture, Gay relationships, Gay, Lesbian Bi-sexual, Transgendered, Queer [GLBTQ], Health, HIV, Homosexual, Honesty, Intimacy, Legal issues, Life, Life's Lessons, Love, Love Story, Lying, Mental Health, Mental illness, Narcissism, Narcissist, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Personal Growth, Recovery, Relationships, Romantic Relationships