When Some Part of Your Life Seems Beyond Your Control


God delays, but doesn’t forget.”  — Spanish Proverb


Each month, I find it more difficult to meet my expenses until the end of the month, on my fixed income. As each month’s end grows closer and I find myself without enough funds for essentials like food and medications, I find myself sinking into a dark hole of depression and anxiety. I worry that I’ll become severely ill, as happened last year, spending months in the hospital. In today’s still lingering economic downturn, it’s frustrating for anyone who has lost a job or met financial setbacks.  Those of us facing financial difficulty suddenly feel curtailed, with the rhythm of our lives changed in a way we never anticipated.  But the Universe slows us down for a reason.

There can be gifts in adversity.  They can give us some much-needed time alone, time to think.  Being alone gives us the chance to find ourselves in a new way.  We may be surprised to find some previously unknown inner resources.  A period of waiting through adversity can also turn us to our Higher Power, God, or the Universe when the solace we need is beyond the capacity of people to give.

It’s challenging to be able to do nothing when the world tells us that we must take action.  When action isn’t possible, accepting the circumstances of our lives enables us to experience the value of being, and not doing.



About Mark Schmitz

Living in Phoenix, AZ since 1995, originally from Brown Deer, Wisconsin. I'm a Gemini born on May 26, 1961. Single, GWM who is HIV and healthy. Spiritually diverse, I'm just trying to stay on the right path to learn all that I came here to learn. That's what my blogs are about - and total honesty.

Posted on January 22, 2011, in Change, Life, Life's Lessons, Personal Growth, Positive Thinking, Spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I needed to read this today, Mark. Thank you.

  2. Charlene kealey

    PS…it looks fine once in your blog format.

  3. Charlene kealey

    Mark, I thought you would appreciate this poem entitled “From Generation to Generation,” by de St. Exupery, the author of “The Little Prince.” Sorry about the format, it’s how it transferred.

    In a house which becomes a home, one hands down and another takes
    up the heritage of mind and heart, laughter and tears, musings and deeds.

    Love, like a carefully loaded ship, crosses the gulf between the generations.

    Therefore we do not neglect the ceremonies of our passage: when we wed, when we die, and when we are blessed with a child;

    When we depart and when we return; when we plant and when we harvest.

    Let us bring up our children. It is not the place of some official to hand to
    them their heritage.

    If others impart to our children our knowledge and ideals, they will lose all
    of us that is wordless and full of wonder.

    Let us build memories in our children, lest they drag out joyless lives, lest
    they allow treasures to be lost because they have not been given the

    We live, not by things, but by the meanings of things. It is needful to
    transmit the passwords from generation to generation.

  4. Charlene kealey

    Hi Mark,

    I came across your blog while reading another (a post entitled “Vicissitudes” on Paramedic Pulp Fiction) and wanted to chime in on ‘being vs doing’ and ‘needing something beyond all offerings from live, embodied beings.’ After experiencing excellent health for 59 years, I had back to back ‘accidents;’ I was the first to be rear ended on the freeway in what became a pileup and then slipped and fell two weeks later at the college library. (Someone had thrown a bottle of water with a loose top in a trash can where the water leaked out and created an invisible slick spot.) After several months of PT, it’s now determined by MRI that I should have shoulder surgery as a result of the slip and fall, which will require 4 to 6 months of rehab! My life has suddenly become complicated and challenged through ‘no fault’ of my own. Thanks for sharing your insights. As I contemplate all aspects of my strange turn of events, (including lawsuits and the world of traditional medicine) it helps to know others are putting such events into a context I can relate to. Ms. C

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