But I’m ANGRY!

Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.” — Source Unknown

Perhaps we were brought up in a family where anger was unthinkable and never mentioned; voices were never raised. Perhaps everything was bottled up because we were afraid of anger. But we were angry!

It’s hard to be angry appropriately. It needs to be learned, like so many things in our emotional life. If we haven’t learned to direct our anger in proper ways, we may find ourselves flying into sudden, inexplicable and unfocused rages that scare us and people around us. Or else we behave sullenly and irritably for no clear reason. Or, we get mad now for something that happened long ago, maybe even years ago.

As we try to better ourselves through personal growth, we learn how to direct our anger and get angry in a justifiable and right way. It’s good to get rid of our anger for the past, so that we can concentrate on living fully in the present.


About Mark Schmitz

Living in Phoenix, AZ since 1995, originally from Brown Deer, Wisconsin. I'm a Gemini born on May 26, 1961. Single, GWM who is HIV and healthy. Spiritually diverse, I'm just trying to stay on the right path to learn all that I came here to learn. That's what my blogs are about - and total honesty.

Posted on November 11, 2010, in Adversity, Childhood Memories, Conflict, Dispute, feelings, Hate, Life, Life's Lessons, Mental Health, Personal Growth, Relationships, Self Discovery, Self-forgiveness, Self-improvement, Violence and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Some of us who have matured are willing to help others learn from even our own insights, experiences

    (2 Cor 1:3 KJV) Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;

    (2 Cor 1:4 KJV) Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

    (2 Cor 1:5 KJV) For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

  2. christophersmark


    I very much appreciate your willingness to share your interests and subsequent knowledge from your experience! And the “replies to replies are genuinely appreciated. Too often a blog reader will leave one comment and not continue the dialogue; I sincerely appreciate your follow-up.

    I didn’t take your replies in the context that you were addressing me personally I didn’t think of that at all. Your feedback simply made me aware that there was more I could share with those that read my “angry” blogs. I took a quick look at your web blog and I definitely will spend more time there, as your site contains some very valuable opinion and sharing of experience and ideas that I will benefit from.

    We’re packing and getting ready for our sort of “cross-country-ish” move tomorrow from Phoenix, AZ to a small town in southern Kansas called Arkansas City (pop 12,672). We have family there who are beginning to slow down as they are now 85 and 89 years old. Neither of them feels comfortable driving anymore and maintenance of their 6,000 sq. ft. home built in 1898 is difficult for them to keep up with. So, when they made a request for someone to move there and provide a hand, I needed all of maybe one split second to step-up-to-the-plate. This couple has done so much for me in my life and this is a perfect time to give something back. It’s off to Ark City (the locals have shortened the name out of frustration that nobody can pronounce it – ärkăn’zəs, not the way the state of Arkansas is pronounced) for a slower pace, the joy of family, the appreciation of seasonal change, it’s affordability, safety and all the other pleasures of small town living.

    Again, thank you for your feedback. You’re a reader I hope to hear from again. Once settled in our new home, I’m looking forward to reading more in depth the blogs on your site.

    Blessings to you and yours,


  3. I was not addressing any of my remarks personally to you but these days too many of the sheep or many Ostrich liked persons seem to avoid dealing with negative realties and as a result get often get angry be of these unresolved personal conflicts, even cause they continue to be abused by others for example so they need to recognize the problem and deal with it still.. Like it or not 30 percent of all persons are immoral abusers, liars, bullies, cheat who likely should be jailed now.. jail is the right place for them too.. On my family blog I have loads of people researching how to deal with bad, crooked churches, alcoholics, bullies, verbal abuse, etc. and they do need enlightenment, help in dealing with this too.

  4. I have done considerable work on myself, creating the tools necessary for me to direct my anger appropriately. My focus in this effort has been on “me” rather than on “them”. One must continually assess our own behaviors and then the behaviors we experience from others in our relationships. Only then are we able to discern if the interactions are healthy or not. There have been situations where I ended a relationship because I wasn’t able to rid myself of resentments and couldn’t be appropriate with that person. As I continue my personal growth, enough change may be in effect to allow for the possibility of a future relationship.

    For those relationships with individuals who don’t have the expression of their own anger in check,the setting of healthy boundaries is an important tool to protect oneself from abusive, harmful or toxic relationships. Removing myself from the situation or harmful relationship is necessary when my boundaries are not respected. I have ended relationships, removing myself completely and with no further contact because my boundaries were not respected. To keep myself healthy, this is what I had to do.

    Boundaries must come from a place of love for one’s Self and a love for others. The best I can do is continue working on “me” and keep myself safe by setting and maintaining strong healthy boundaries. From my experience, if my focus is on myself, doing the work necessary to become a healthy person and the other party is doing the same in their own personal growth, the relationship will naturally get better.

    Thank you so much for your important feedback on both of my posts which address anger. ~Mark

  5. to ghet rid of the anger we still may have to deal with the causes of the anger.. even the people who wrongfully made us angry as well

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