Change is Painful


But What About the Agony that Results Without it?

 

 

 

“An old error is always more popular than a new truth”     –German Proverb

I often feel uncomfortable with the “new” because it causes me to reach out and expand my vision. This may at times, be painful and I don’t like the pain that comes with change.

My previous unhealthy behaviors and actions seemed cozy and gave me a curious kind of comfort and reassurance. I turned to them when I was lonely or anxious or hopeless. I was used to them and didn’t need to do much to keep on going in the same old ways. I’m feeling the need to turn to some of those old ways today, due to pressures, stress and disconnection from my family and some friends.

But today, suddenly I saw the error of my old ways. Discovery, disgrace, previous suits for damages, my partner’s incarcerations, my resultant isolation, despair, the loss of two previous partners, the contempt of our friends – are all the consequences of the coziness of those old ways. Yes, I may have awakened to find that my past behaviors ruined my life. I once again reach out to the hard process of change.

Making difficult changes is painful, but that pain is far preferable to the agony caused by the inevitable outcome of a return to the past behaviors that come from addiction and neglect of my bipolar disorder. I am reaching and embracing the new even though it is sometimes painful for a while.

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About Mark Schmitz

Living in Phoenix, AZ since 1995, originally from Brown Deer, Wisconsin. I'm a Gemini born on May 26, 1961. Single, GWM who is HIV and healthy. Spiritually diverse, I'm just trying to stay on the right path to learn all that I came here to learn. That's what my blogs are about - and total honesty.

Posted on October 1, 2010, in Change, Personal Growth, Self Discovery, Spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

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