That Slippery Land of Fantasy
“At the bottom of the modern man there is always a great thirst of self-forgetfulness, self-distraction…and therefore he turns away from all those problems and abysses which might recall to him his own nothingness.”– Henri Amiel (1821-1881), Swiss Philosopher and Poet
I am aware of the way I sometimes rush around or slide off into the land of fantasy to distract myself from looking at myself too closely. Am I afraid that what I might find is nothing but my own… nothingness? Are my addictions a misguided search for some kind of identity at any price?
I am discovering that identity is not something given, once and for all. Perhaps there is never a fixed point at which I can say, “I am that.” Life is a process, upheaval, reversal, change and a continuous process of becoming. If I can be brave enough to welcome change and the pains it can cause, I may never have to fear the vertigo of nothingness or the madness of distraction that becomes self-destruction.
Posted on April 19, 2008, in Addiction, Chemical Dependency, Drug Addiction, Life, Personal Growth, Recovery and tagged 12 Step Group, 12 Step Program, AA, Addiction, Adversity, Alcoholic's Anonymous, All About Me, Authentic Self, Authenticity, Bravery, Change, Chemical Dependency, CMA, Crystal Meth, Crystal Meth Anonymous, Distraction, Drug Addiction, Fantasy, Fear, Life, Life is a Process, Madness, NA, Narcotics Anonymous, Personal Growth, Positive Thinking, Process of Becoming, Recovery, Reversal, SA, Search for Identity, Self-destruction, Self-distraction, Self-forgetfulness, Sex Addicts Anonymous, Truth, Upheaval. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.