My Work Toward Personal Growth is Starting to Feel Routine





“To live and let live, without clamor for distinction or recognition; to wait on divine Love; to write truth first on the tablet of one’s own heart – this is the sanity and perfection of living, and my human ideal.” — Mary Baker Eddy

Some days, I feel like the work I do for my personal growth seems simply mundane. I make a choice and then I make it again. Unlike the uncontrolled life I had before, of an uncontrolled maniacal person with bi-polar, life now has a greater degree of sanity that comes from making good choices until they become new habits. Every part of me, may rebel at this from time to time. Does this signal what I fear; a downward spiral?

My old behaviors sometimes try to replay the old tapes in my mind that tell me that a sane life is a boring and mundane. But it’s not: it frees us because now life is more manageable.  I’m finding out in this process that it’s the small choices that count. Maybe I change something in my life-like the kind of television show I watch or the music I listen to. Maybe I change my lunch routine or take a different bus route than the usual standby.

One of the simplest concepts I came to understand through this most recent exercise, is that I only have to choose for twenty-four hours. The bottom line for me is to have the willingness, humility and tenacious faith. I will try to see day-to-day routine as giving me the sanity and stability which I know I need to feel safe.


About Mark Schmitz

Living in Phoenix, AZ since 1995, originally from Brown Deer, Wisconsin. I'm a Gemini born on May 26, 1961. Single, GWM who is HIV and healthy. Spiritually diverse, I'm just trying to stay on the right path to learn all that I came here to learn. That's what my blogs are about - and total honesty.

Posted on December 22, 2007, in Personal Growth and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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