When I find myself feeling as though I’m slipping into that dark place of depression, I know I must respond swiftly with my tools.  Tools which act as a means of coping.  I know if I seek out positive affirmations I have a chance of pulling out of that forlorn state.  Affirmations within the lyrics of music serve me even better.  Here is one such song and it’s lyrics which I’ve been listening to today and share with you now.

“The World’s Greatest” R. Kelly
Yeah,Uhh…
Uhh…
Yeah..
It’s the worlds greatest, Yo,
It’s the worlds greatest, Come on,
Worlds Greatest, Ever

I am a mountain
I am a tall tree
Oh, I am a swift wind
Sweepin’ the country
I am a river
Down in the valley
Oh, I am a vision
And I can see clearly
If anybody asks u who I am
Just stand up tall look ‘em in the Face and say

[Chorus]
I’m that star up in the sky
I’m that mountain peak up high
Hey, I made it
I’m the worlds greatest
And I’m that little bit of hope
When my backs against the ropes
I can feel it mmm
I’m the worlds greatest

I am a giant
I am an eagle
I am a lion
Down in the jungle
I am a marchin’ band
I am the people
I am a helpin’ hand
And I am a hero
If anybody asks u who I am
Just stand up tall look ‘em in the Face and say

[Chorus]
I’m that star up in the sky
I’m that mountain peak up high
I made it
I’m the worlds greatest
And I’m that little bit of hope
When my backs against the ropes
I can feel it
I’m the worlds greatest

In the ring of life I’ll reign love
(I will reign)
And the world will notice a king
(Oh Yeah)
When all is darkest, I’ll shine a light
(Shine a light)
And use a success you’ll find in me
(Me)

I’m that star up in the sky
I’m that mountain peak up high
Hey, I made it
I’m the world’s greatest
And I’m that little bit of hope
When my back’s against the ropes
I can feel it
I’m the world’s greatest

I’m that star up in the sky
I’m that mountain peak up high
Hey, I made it
I’m the world’s greatest
And I’m that little bit of hope
When my back’s against the ropes
I can feel it
I’m the world’s greatest

I’m that star up in the sky
I’m that mountain peak up high
Hey, I made it
I’m the world’s greatest
And I’m that little bit of hope
When my back’s against the ropes
I can feel it
I’m the world’s greatest

[*]
It’s the greatest
Can you feel it
It’s the greatest
Can you feel it

[Repeat * while:]
I saw the light
At the end of a tunnel
Believe in the pot of gold
At the end of the rainbow
And faith was right there
To pull me through, yeah
Used to be locked doors
Now I can just walk on through
Hey, uh, hey, hey, hey
It’s the greatest
I’m that star up in the sky

I’m that star up in the sky
I’m that mountain peak up high
Hey, I made it
I’m the world’s greatest
And I’m that little bit of hope
When my back’s against the ropes
I can feel it
I’m the world’s greatest

“Visions for those too tired to sleep.  These seeds cast a film over eyes which weep.”  

– Amy Lowell

 

 

Many of us have struggled with depression during our lives.  Many of us have also felt shame when we were depressed, as if we were lazy or weren’t trying hard enough. 

But that isn’t true.  The causes of depression are complex, and those of us who suffer from it owe it to ourselves to keep searching for relief.  As we work toward personal growth, it is natural for us to long to put all of our energy into our new lives.  The hopelessness, self-blame and apathy of depression can be paralyzing and even life-threatening.  When we need to eliminate stress, depression is a burden we don’t have to carry.

Whether our feelings are a result of external circumstances or our body’s chemistry, we can take good care of ourselves.  We can feel our anger and sadness.  We can seek professional help if necessary.  Try and remember, “This too shall pass.”  There can be an end to the suffering of depression.  We have good reason to hope we will feel joy again. 

“What we don’t know supports what we do know.”   — Bill Moyers

One way we show respect for ourselves and others is by respecting whatever life brings us.  What prevented that in the past was our preoccupation with everything that prevented us from having our own way.  Now, we live lives on a different rhythm: one of letting go.  It is that rhythm to which we must pay attention.

At times letting go feels like doing nothing, and doing nothing feels like standing still.  But letting go is not the same as standing still.  It is active, not passive.  Letting go focuses our attention on life in the present, living it fully, moment by moment, rather than in a fantasy future that seems to promise the outcome we crave. 

It has been said that the light of God’s love is so bright that it appears as darkness to us.  When we feel we’re living in darkness, we may be living in the all-encompassing light of God’s love.and compassion for our struggle.  We can trust the daily evidence of that love and know we are safe. 

“For so it must be, and help me to do my part.”  — A Tibetan Master

It’s been said that God exists only in the present. That means we must live in the present if we are to find God.  In God’s eyes, we are worthy and lovable as we are, today.  ‘God never rejects part of creation.

Can we accept that our God, Higher Power or Universe loved us even we were at our very worst? Can we accept that God loves us if we are struggling, or slipping today?  If this happens, we can pick ourselves up again and make better choices and pray to God for help.

The power of the present makes it possible for God to love each one of us unconditionally because God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, just willing to do our very best.  Only in the present do we have the power to choose our attitudes and actions, and it is this freedom that links us to God’s power.

I love cold pasta dishes during our hot summers here in Arizona, and I especially love the flavors of Asian style salads. Now, I am not usually the type to post a review of a product, or to recommend one publicly in a post such as this. But this product has impressed me for its quality ingredients, taste, ease of prep, abundance and value that I felt it would perhaps he helpful for others to know about it.

The other day, while shopping at my local Fresh & Easy Neighborhood Market, I found at the very back of the store, a display of three box pasta dishes. The Asian Noodle Salad, Alfredo Pasta and Cream Tomato Sauce Penne Pasta. Each was priced at $1.88. I purchased all three however I’ve only tried the Asian Noodle Salad to date. So why am I so crazy for it? Well, as I’ve already begun to tell you, inside the sturdy, well sealed box are an abundance of ingredients, all of the highest quality. The buckwheat soba was banded in three packs, there was a packet of sauce mix, a packet of seasonings and dried vegetables (shitake mushrooms, edamame, green onions, toasted sesame seeds and more), and finally a very generous packet of a delicious tasting sesame oil. Prep time was less than 30 minutes and the directions on the side of the box were very clear. The only thing required to add was water for boiling the soba noodles and water to make the sauce. Once prepared, and all ingredients combined, I chilled the salad as recommended in the directions for thirty minutes. The result was a huge salad, definitely able to serve 7 or more, that was delicious and fragrant and beautiful to look at.

As I think about it now, when I make a similar salad from scratch, I would be hard pressed to purchase the ingredients for $1.88! Well there’s my personal product review. Try it for yourself!

Get more information about Fresh & Easy Neighborhood Markets or find a store near you!

http://www.freshandeasy.com

“What we love we shall grow to resemble.”  — Bernard of Clairvaux

There comes a day when we realize that looking for external solutions to our problems just won’t work.  How vain has been the time and energy spent looking for the perfect mate or partner, the perfect job, the perfect life. So instead, we start to search for internal solutions; we begin to change ourselves.

To change ourselves is a different process from controlling ourselves, which cannot be done.  But when we start to give up the control, the rigidity, the perfectionism, the self-will, we begin to change.  This change seems like a miracle because it is!  It’s an incredible gift from the Universe, who loves us beyond our imagining.  The more we change our focus from the external to the internal, the more we’re able to accept ourselves.  We become humble with each small choice to accept ourselves as we are.  We become whole as we let that choice be enough for today.

Are you living within yourself or outside of yourself today?  To keep the focus within requires self-acceptance.

I have been wanting to share this track from Mary J. Blige’s “Growing Pains” CD.  By far my favorite song (this week, OK – this month!).  Following are the lyrics, which got me hooked first, then listen to the song.  Enjoy!

Come to Me (Peace)

That was love
That was then
That was us, miracles
I changed you
You changed me
This is how these things go
I was broke
And you were scared
But you stayed by my side, yea

I was yours
You were mine
It seemed we’d last forever, oh yea
I’d be the one you need
You would be the one I marry
And I’m just trying to invite my way back in your heart
And I’m telling you to…

[Chorus:]
Come to me
I’ll restore freedom
I’ll carve away the worries in your heart

Your heart is missed
I’m a mess, what happened to second chance
This is now, this is how easy things can get out of hand
We were cold, and we were slow then, now we end faster than light, than light

And I’m not ashamed cause my love ain’t changed
I’m prepared to beg you back the whole way
Bring me your arms, I’ll bring mine too
And we will heal, mend, me and you, telling you…

[Chorus:]
Come to me
I’ll restore freedom
I’ll carve away the worries in your heart
I’m telling you to…

Come to me
I’ll restore freedom
I’ll carve away the worries in your heart
And I’m here to make peace, peace, peace
I’m here to make peace, peace, peace
I’m here to make peace, peace, peace
I’m here to make peace, between u and I

Through my doors, and take my hand
Replace our love beyond this land
This is just too much to give away
I love you baby, so why don’t you stay

Let the air of your voice dry my tears
Let “I love you”, fall on my ears
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
I want you to just…

[Chorus:]
Come to me
I’ll restore freedom
I’ll carve away your worries in your heart
And I’ll be here to make peace
I’m here to make peace peace peace
I’m here to make peace peace peace
I’m here to make peace peace peace between you and I

Wanna make peace with you baby
I don’t wanna fight, I just wanna do everything right
Show me how to make peace with you
I do wanna make peace with you

“”A poet begins in delight and ends in wisdom.”  –  Robert Frost

Artists deepen our sense of wonder because they have retained the ability to see life with a delighted eye.  They know that nothing is too particular or minute to take pleasure in if we give ourselves time to pause and look.  The world is infinite in its variety and beauty.

If we find ourselves, for whatever reason, seeing life with a vision or blinder, we are then unable to relax and open ourselves to the new when we are so uptight and bent on our own pleasure.  We are left impoverished.

We can learn, baby-step-by-baby-step, day by day, to slow down and really look at the world around us. We may find ourselves noticing the obvious things that we used to miss. This can lead to sheer delight when we notice that things can be so different, so particular  in their shape, color, meaning and impact.  Delight can turn into knowledge as we explore further; then, if we persevere, we may stumble onto wisdom.

“God alone can finish.”  — John Ruskin

We may have been brought up with the idea that we always had to finish something we started – a meal, a painting, a piece of work, a letter.  In many cases this went along with our distorted notions of perfectionism: if something is going to be done, it must be done perfectly – the way Dad does it, or your teacher, or perhaps God.  And so, especially if we liked to experiment a bit, push the envelope or dream, we ended up feeling as if we didn’t measure up. 

But wait!  Many of the great artists- Leonardo, Cezanne, Picasso – left work unfinished, as if to show the margin between impossible perfection and their own striving.  What mattered was the effort and the process and the struggle.  Each viewer of an unfinished picture could, by responding to the work’s creative urging with his or her own imagination, fulfill the process. 

Our lives are never finished – at least until we can no longer add any final touches.  We are always in a process of change and becoming.  That’s why we keep taking our little baby steps over and over again- to remind us that our lives are journeys, always in the act of unfolding. 

Tuesday, May 26, 2009 is my 48th birthday.  I don’t expect it to be any different than any other day; my friend Keith will pick me up in the morning as he does every Tuesday, and we will go to Joshua Tree.  Joshua Tree is a program here in Phoenix, Arizona which provides food to individuals with HIV/Aids.  Going to Joshua Tree seems today as a major ordeal.  I’ve been sick for the last three weeks with some form of bronchial infection. 

Since I began blogging three years ago, I’ve written something about aging, being a Gemini or birthday memories.  This year, I’m going to share an exercise I participated in with the hope that I’d have some fun with writing about my birthday. 

What was the hardest age for you to reach?

I’ve never had a negative association with a particular age.  I really do believe that age is just a number and that it doesn’t tell you anything more about a person. 

What was your best birthday?

My best birthday was my 35th.  My partner and a friend of ours put together a wonderful party at our home on Roosevelt Drive in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  I still enjoy looking at the pictures I have from that day, seeing the joy and happiness that abounded that day. 

What was the most difficult birthday you’ve ever had? Why?

Last year was my most difficult birthday I’ve endured.  I was in the midst of a serious financial crisis which put me into a deep state of depression. 

What is your favorite thing to do (or not to do) on your birthday?

Dinner at Red Lobster.

What is your favorite thing about birthdays?

Before moving to Phoenix, I was surrounded by family and friends.  I enjoyed my family’s tradition of getting together for birthday cake each and every year. 

Do the approach and day of your birthday evoke particular memories? Smells? Tastes? Feelings?

I’ve always associated my birthday with the smell of lilacs.  This is always the time of year in Milwaukee when the blooms are most abundant.  I long for that smell of lilacs!  Now, living in Phoenix, I associate the appearance of the Jacaranda; bright blue flowers on stark, leafless branches. 

Birthdays: love ‘em, hate ‘em, ignore ‘em? None of the above?

There are times when I feel each of the feelings listed above.  Typically, I feel disappointed because no matter how hard I try not to create expectations in my mind, they still seem to form. 

How do you feel about age and aging?

I feel fortunate because people often tell me that they are surprised to learn of my age, because I don’t look it.  That seems to be a genetic blessing in my family, because we all get that comment regularly. As I’ve said before, age is just a number, and doesn’t tell anyone anything substantial about the person you are. 

What did your family do about birthdays when you were growing up?

When my grandmother was still alive, she gave us the choice each year of our choice of her most loved birthday cakes: angel food or chocolate.  The family would all get together and enjoy coffee and cake.  It was a simple get-together, but one that I miss now that I am so far away from family. 

Do you have "mortality moments" on your birthday? Do you invariably feel grateful? Both? Neither?

I only began to have “mortality moments” this year since I had a very real near-death experience just a few months ago.  Each year, I seem to have an ever increasing list of health issues which are of concern.  I am grateful that I am 48 years old, but in my mind I think about how both of my grandfathers lived only to their early fifties. 

Do you tell people your age? Why or why not?

I find that I am more comfortable sharing my age after some period of getting to know each other.  I figure that way, I won’t be pre-judged.

Have you ever spent a birthday alone? Do you prefer spending your birthday alone?

I have spent birthdays alone, since moving to Phoenix in 1994.  I dream of being back in Milwaukee and participating in my family’s tradition of getting together each year. 

Do you broadcast your birthday or prefer not to mention it?

With the advent of social networking sights, I do find myself saying “yes” to birthday date requests. 

Do you have particular rituals on your birthday?

No rituals presently, but long for the day when some new traditions and rituals might be established with friends and family.

What do you think of birthday parties?

I’ve always been uncomfortable with birthday parties for me, but love having them or attending them for other people.  For myself, I prefer just enjoying the company of a few close friends and family.

What do you think of surprise parties?

No one has ever had a surprise party for me, and I have only attended a handful in my lifetime. 

At what time of year were you born? How has this affected your birthdays?

The Indy 500 and Memorial Day are two major seasonal events that I associate with my birthday.

Do you feel differently about other people’s birthdays and your own?

I love acknowledging other people’s birthday’s, and always experience some awkwardness or embarrassment when my birthday is remembered and acknowledged. 

Do you have trouble remembering your loved ones’ birthdays? Do you keep a birthday book?

I enjoy acknowledging the birthdays of my friends and family.  I have always had difficulty with remembering them and have always maintained a log of some sort.  Today, with technology, this has become a much easier task.