Suffering
“
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” -E.H. Chapin-
When I am suffering I wondered this morning, what do I usually do with it? Do I use it as a reason to abuse myself, shame myself or hate myself? Do I turn to my former unhealthy behaviors from the pain that is part of the suffering?
When I was acting out, I suffered, I felt pain, but I usually did not understand why. The suffering and pain that accompanies me along my path of personal and spiritual growth is quite different – it leads me to healing, or at least it will if I let it. Sometimes I can turn my pain over to the Universe, trusting that my pain is there to help me grow, and that it will pass. This can help me believe that my pain has a true purpose.
My feelings, no matter how difficult some of them are to feel, are supported by the compassion I am learning to feel myself and the compassion the Universe feels for me. I can choose to look at my pain in the light of recovery. It won’t last forever; I will survive!
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Mark’s Space to Share His World
Pure Honesty. Nothing less. It’s all about my lessons of life that I’m mastering or struggling with. All of it is here.
I am taking “baby steps” as I go along this path of personal growth. For the longest time, I scoffed at feedback I’d receive to, “Slow down, take baby steps.” I thought it impossible to cover all the ground I hoped to by taking “baby steps”. But I have discovered that I actually am getting further and am on stronger footing by doing so.
We all have issues that we face in our life, and I have my share too. The way I face my challenges and attempt to learn and grow from them and the new “tools” I find useful to cope is what I wish to blog about and share with people.
My recovery from an addiction to Crystal Methamphetamine and anonymous, promiscuous sex has given me the gift of a greater sense of Spirituality to my life. I am in a gay relationship with a partner who is challenged with severe mental illnesses: Bi polar Disorder, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and ADHD. I have been a victim of domestic violence in this relationship, yet I choose to remain in the relationship in a safer and healthier form. My partner and I are both HIV+ which brings unique issues to life every day, in some way too.
My blogs will be about my path toward personal growth, developing spirituality, gay relationships, recovery from addiction, mental illness and much more. My communication through my blogs is indeed my little space to share my world in a completely honest way.
Thank you for being part of my world!
Mark
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