I Accept All My Relationships As They Are Today – I Will Give Them My Best.
Only one who listens can speak.
- Dag Hammarskjöld
Inevitably, there will always be times in our life when a relationship becomes difficult. Maybe it’s a friendship that has conflicts, or a romantic relationship that suddenly, terrifyingly, starts to fall apart. For me, my relationships with my ex-partner, my sister and her partner are decimated. I’m having a difficult time with my partner’s mother; all this, just a few days before the holidays.
For me, a shaky relationship can trigger my fear of abandonment. That’s when I feel torn between my old, inappropriate interactions and my new tools of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries and my commitment to living my life as I choose. Do I give up and run? Do I hang on, even though I may not want to? How honest should I be? What should be left unsaid, perhaps better shared with someone else? These are only some of the questions I have to ask myself.
The wisdom I’ve gained through new tools from therapy is to do nothing until I know what I want to do. All things, including relationships, are on the Universe’s time. Until – or when – I come to a decision, I can live each day going about my life. All I can do is live this moment and give myself the love and nurturing I need until the difficulty finally comes to an end. The outcome may not be what I expected, but I can handle that too.
